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  • Piranha 3D

    Piranha 3D

    ★★½

    My taste for this style of smirking bro-horror has very much decreased in the last decade! Eli Roth ad-libbing dumbass euphemisms for breasts is going to haunt my dreams -- who the fuck let that dude have a career? Excellent gore fx tho.

  • Party Hard, Die Young

    Party Hard, Die Young

    ★½

    As various horror subgenres wax & wane, I've been glad that slashers -- once painfully omnipresent -- have become much less popular. Party Hard, Die Young hits the main points of this dismal genre: awful characters, casual misogyny, and a molasses-slow plot that exists only to make you wait interminably for the next (dull) kill scene. The phrase "good slasher film" has always been an oxymoron and this does nothing to convince me otherwise.

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  • Most Likely to Die

    Most Likely to Die

    ★★

    Most Likely to Take a Nap

  • Demon

    Demon

    ★★

    Tasteful and restrained, Demon is a horror movie for people who don't like horror movies. I intend that as an insult.