Favorite films

  • The Crawling Brain
  • Creaturealm: From the Dead
  • Evil Ever After
  • Rat Scratch Fever

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  • Yokai Monsters: Along with Ghosts

    ★★★½

  • Codename D.O.L.L. Squad

    ★★★★

  • Mad God

    ★★★½

  • The Cheerleader Sleepover Slaughter

    ★★★

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  • Evil Ever After

    Evil Ever After

    ★★★★

    I'm going to tell my kids that this is Cruella or...a totally awful movie for awful people, so of course I loved it...and its a Christmas movie, one of the cops wore a Santa hat while they were raping the ever nubile Randal Malone, but I guess I'm getting a head (not literally) of myself. Anyhoo, Joe Bob Briggs is in this too, he gets to make out with wife Brinke Stevens (briefly), and (teen but more likely 20something) daughter…

  • Night of the Dead

    Night of the Dead

    ★★½

    It's 2012 and you have Ron Jeremy on your movie poster, good luck with that, but I'm somewhat addicted to director Dennis Devine's output (especially 2000s) with his reuse of locations, inexperienced photogenic actors playing community college students, and Randall Malone (I mean why would you put Ron Jeremy when you have Randal Malone right there). This is the belated (5 years) sequel to Don't Go
    into the Cellar that no one asked for. Leah (Shevaun Kastl) played the older…

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  • Slaughter Day

    Slaughter Day

    ★★★★

    Jones uses the Necronomicon to extract revenge against his asshole bosses. But wait his asshole bosses are actually the protagonists, so I guess winners do write the history books. While Slaughter Day's politics may...naw fuck that. Slaughter Day is non stop action inventive filmmaking and every single gore gag whips. Wild Eye still has this available on Vimeo for free or you can shell out $30 for the bluray. Either way it's a win.
    It's October so I'm (mostly) reviewing everything I watch, so be the first like my list or not because blah blah blah.

  • Dark October

    Dark October

    ★★½

    For the most part absolutely nothing happens in Dark October and that's okay. It's relaxing in that regional horror indie way, but then when stuff starts happening, it kinda sucks and makes you wish nothing ever happens, and then you join a death cult. Thanks a lot Dark October.

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  • Guinea Pig: Devil's Experiment

    Guinea Pig: Devil's Experiment

    ★★★

    I always wonder if its worth telling the story where Charlie Sheen saw this at a cocaine party at Chris Gore's house, and thought it was snuff, so he called the FBI to investigate, which in turn started a feud between Chris Gore and Chas Balun. Now if the names Chris Gore, and Chas Balun are familiar to you then you've probably know the story, if not, who gives a fuck. But that would be ignoring history, man. Chas Balun…

  • Mutilations

    Mutilations

    ★★★★

    I turned 42 today, so I took the day off from work and as the kids (at least the kids in my middle aged view point) would say #daydrinking. I know you're saying "goddamn it Smellington, we know you're middle age, stop bringing it up and the whole drunk review is sooooo 1990s", but on the other hand *************************, so fuck you. If you're confused, well so am I. Anyhoo, I've been anticipating seeing Mutilations for at least the past…