Satan's Touch ★½

While Satan’s Touch is certainly not a horror film or even remotely horrific, it is truly the devil’s work. I mean, imagine, it’s 1984 and little Billy or Suzi pluck down their hard earned money in hopes of renting some devil movie thrills and chills, and they end up with a creaky morality yarn without a moral. No spfx, no cults, no possessions, just a balding middle age Satan granting an old good-guy grocer the power to always win at gambling for reasons, until he doesn’t. End. Credits. Yeah, there’s some back room drama with a casino boss and security trying to figure the shit out, but there’s also that distinct lack of anything mildly entertaining that kinda drags everything down. As for the rad video box lady with the blood and the pentagram, she is shockingly nowhere to be found. The biggest shock is that a print of this has survived (you’d think video store clerks would have destroyed most copies to avoid dealing with angry customers) and available on yt. The Great Deceiver strikes again.