Wild Beasts

Wild Beasts ★★★

Horror Hunt #36 (June 2021)
6. Banned in Queensland, Australia

Blind person in Italian horror film: *Exists*

Their guide dog: So you have chosen death..

Flaying in Frankfurt when PCP in the local water supply cause the animal kingdom to go fucking bananas. It doesn't take long for the drug-fueled beasts from the local zoo to go on some frenzies. Cheetahs on the highway! Polar bears in the corridors! Hyenas in the farmhouse! Oh my!

So this film starts of with a disclaimer that denies any harm to the animals in this film but... I dunno guys... Those rats sure looked to be pretty harmed when they were doused in flames.. And those cows didn't look so hot when the lions pounced them either. If you don't like animal cruelty then this film may be quite a no-no.

Despite the moral failings on display there is an undeniable air of chaotic energy to this film that makes it hard to look away. My favorite part of the whole film was when that lady panicked at the sight of a cheetah and drove her car for like 10 minutes or so before crashing in glorious fashion. So I don't wanna diss the lady or anything but I'm pretty sure cheetahs are the nerds of the African savannah (lions have been known to refer to them as dweebahs before stealing their prey and pushing them into lockers) and I don't think one is capable of getting into a locked car, drug-fueled or not. Things were far more dangerous with that polar bear in the recreation center. Did you know they are one of the few species out there who will look at a person and be like "Yep that's some good fucking food right there." Polar bears are a bad 1v1 matchup for us.

There is such an undeniable fascination to these animal attacks films. For better or worse these types of films will never be created again, they are literal relics of the past. If they made a Wild Beasts remake in like 2022 it would all be CGI and Dwayne Johnsson would be slapped onto the poster with an annoyed look on his face. Wild Beasts is a wild fucking ride of a movie that we will never see the likes of again. And when you consider what those animals went through that is almost certainly for the best.

Block or Report

Robert liked these reviews