The Kissing Booth

The Kissing Booth ½

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

im writing this as adobe photoshop crashed for the bazillionth time and erased all my progrrss so i might be harsher than usual, but this oughtta be the worst movie i have ever ever ever seen ever. there are so many aspects about it that just make my insides curdle honestly but the most prominent is just the absolute toxic straightness of all of it. There was an attempt at making her be an independent female  throughout but it was all to just make some stupid ass ugly bicycle seat white boy  jealous and make him feel like he needed to protect her even more. BOOO! this movie is just a projection of a 12 year old  wattpad author  who has no idea how relationships or high school are. watching this almsot made me— and i stress ALMOST— feel like it was self aware and trying to be goofy, but it wasnt pushed enough to just be ridiculous. Also its a netflix movie so how self aware can it be. Going back to the vile amounts of harmful heterosexual tropes— the main character girl was supposed to “tame the beast” in Noah and suppress the violent straight male within and transform him into some darling boy confined by  the ball and chain  RULEBOOK this bitch prays over.  i have had enough. I understand the “good girl likes bad boy”  theme thats been trampled to death at this point, but they coulda at least been creative with the characters.
The only other females in this MOVIE were 3  mean girls (sound familiar? mean girls? like the movie mean girls? where there was 3 of them? three mean girls? 3?) and  some random girl  who  kissed the nerdy boy best friend which SUDDENLY blossomed into some special strong relatjonship.  It was like  Ohhhh the sexy girl he has a crush on is  a JERK  who saw it coming.  Oh... whos this unsuspected  drop dead gorgeous girl who is somehow a nobody? here she comes to kiss him!
BLEH  EWWW EW EWWW this whole movie just made me sick inside. Also what exactly was the plot? Girl likes boy but boy is off limits but they do anyways. cooool  who woulda saw that one coming.
also hate to be like this but the only black guy in the film had to be the one to go  YO  SHE IS FIIIINE    like yeah LOL okay... incheresting *pushes my glasses up on my nose*
the concept that Shelby or whatever her name is   “got hot” over the summer (which she says  “it happens to everyone”  no the hell it DONT) ....... i aint got nothin to say i just thought it was ridiculous. also screw off for including the line “is my butt too big?” we are a WESTERN society  and its an AMERICAN film and  the general preferred body type is big boobs and a big butt  so please please please SIT DOWN. this is just like  hannah baker  noooo my ass is sooo fat  imma kill myself 
imma wrap this up by dippin my fingers back into the  straight sauce  and mentioning how  they just  have sex on the side of a mountain under the hollywood sign like  ... what

thank you for reading please tear it apart further if you please