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  • Fitzcarraldo

    Fitzcarraldo

    Obvious parallels with Heart of Darkness, but not even a full century later you can see that the idea of the “corrupting savagery” present in Conrad’s novel, in which otherwise perfectly sane Westerners are turned into crazed barbarians merely by breathing in that hot jungle air©, has been flipped in favour of a far more equitable distribution of insanity between the so-called civilised and uncivilised worlds. Just as in Aguirre, Herzog’s distaste for the self importance and cruelty of affluent…

  • Burden of Dreams

    Burden of Dreams

    There’s a family friend of ours called Lucian, who lives in Barcelona, Spain. In the 1980s when he was maybe 19 or 20, he and some of his friends were bored one day so they decided to hop on a banana boat headed for South America. This is where he spent the next few months and/or years of his life (Spanish people just leave out huge chunks of information when they tell stories, there is nothing that can be done).…

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  • The Great Muppet Caper

    The Great Muppet Caper

    Swedish Chef forcibly removes the sadness from me. Any time he appears on screen it’s as if the serotonin floodgates in my brain are flung open and all tensions and anxieties leave me and I can collapse in a satisfied and stress-free heap. It’s a visceral response. What I’m trying to say is that I have feelings for Swedish Chef. I would kiss him on the lips.

    Anyway this was a good movie, but it really could have done with more Swedish Chef.

  • Calvary

    Calvary

    ★½

    The only thing that annoys me more than a movie in which all the characters are interchangeable pontificating assholes is a movie in which all the characters act like they know they are in a movie.

    This is a both situation. Watch First Reformed instead.

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  • Avatar 5

    Avatar 5

    Avatars 1-4 were alright, but Avatar 5 was when the series truly came into its own. It’s not quite as good as Avatar 10 (2037) or Avatar 37 (2038), but it showed early on that the franchise had real staying power, even before James Cameron died and was resurrected as pure kino in light-energy form during production of Avatar 6.

  • The Muppet Movie

    The Muppet Movie

    The fact that they made time for a quadrillion celebrity cameos but The Swedish Chef is only in this for like 10 seconds is a national tragedy. You’re telling me they couldn’t have stopped off for meatballs at some point on their cross-country road trip? Ridiculous.