• Seven Samurai

    Seven Samurai


    watched this as kurosawa intended (i was playing papa's pizzeria on my phone at the same time and kept having to rewind the film because i missed what happened)

  • Babylon



    these are the types of parties that stefon used to talk about

  • Hot Fuzz

    Hot Fuzz


    the ultimate romantic comedy

  • Drag Me to Hell

    Drag Me to Hell


    of the strong opinion that the most entertaining horror movies:
    a) are camp
    b) star justin long

  • The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

    The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring


    thank god that we all live in the timeline where james corden's audition for samwise gamgee wasn't successful

  • The Grand Budapest Hotel

    The Grand Budapest Hotel


    "we think you're a real straight fellow"
    "well, i've never been accused of that before"

    ralph fiennes delivered the performance of a lifetime in this movie and nearly a decade later i've still not forgiven the academy for snubbing him

  • White Noise

    White Noise


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    bold of any film to attempt a supermarket dance finale after fantastic mr fox perfected it

  • Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

    Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery


    will now be trying to use "social network'd" as a verb in any conversation possible

  • Avatar: The Way of Water

    Avatar: The Way of Water


    james cameron had 13 years to change the font for the subtitles and still went with fucking papyrus

  • Love Actually

    Love Actually


    the uk would probably be in a better position right now if hugh grant was actually prime minister

  • Bones and All

    Bones and All


    "eaters can smell other eaters" yeah cause you all look like you haven't showered in months

  • Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio

    Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio


    any film featuring an ewan mcgregor musical number automatically gets an extra half star