• Love Actually

    Love Actually

    ★★★½

    the two, maybe three, storylines that are at least semi-charming are ruined by the vibes of the rest of the storylines (pure evil)

  • May December

    May December

    ★★★★★

    tonally brilliant. portman and moore are having a mother off while charles melton gives the most emotionally devastating performance of the year in the corner.

  • Gone with the Wind

    Gone with the Wind

    ★★★

    ok... great gowns, beautiful gowns...

  • The Killer

    The Killer

    ★★★★

    it's good, but in an ideal world we would have got mindhunter season 3 instead of this

  • Five Nights at Freddy's

    Five Nights at Freddy's

    ★★

    the movie: two stars
    the josh hutcherson renaissance we are observing as a result of the movie: five stars

  • Saw X

    Saw X

    ★★★

    john kramer sitting on a park bench whimsically doodling ideas for his next horrific trap is the funniest scene of the year

  • Talk to Me

    Talk to Me

    ★★★

    is it bad that, after watching this a second time, i still want to have a go with the hand?

  • Mamma Mia!

    Mamma Mia!

    ★★★★★

    pierce brosnan bad singer this, piece brosnan can't carry a tune that, HE WAS HAVING FUN! LEAVE HIM ALONE!

  • Spice World

    Spice World

    ★★★★★

    i gave a hard day's night three stars. i'm giving spice world five stars. the beatles wish they were this funny.

  • Saw III

    Saw III

    ★★

    john kramer's work ethic is crazy

  • Asteroid City

    Asteroid City

    ★★★★½

    mum cheered when edward norton kissed a man because apparently, and these are her words, she "wished he would have done that in fight club"

  • The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar

    The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar

    ★★★★½

    this is me publicly begging wes anderson to keep dev patel in his group of recurring actors