Dear Evan Hansen

Dear Evan Hansen

i’m fully pirating this rn and i’m gonna take notes as i watch. 

right off the bat, ben platt is wearing what seems like the most makeup i’ve ever seen on a person ever. just so much makeup. evan having two followers on instagram is also hilarious. 

the editing is abysmal. they were really trying to make this opening number interesting to watch and i appreciate the effort but jesus. jarring! 

evan hansen needs a TC Tuggers shirt from i think you should leave. why does he keep pulling on his shirt?

DID HE JUST NARUTO RUN?

aint no way connor murphy doesn’t get bitches. girls LOVE rapist vibes 

evan goes on reddit 😍😍😍😍 FINALLY SOME REPRESENTATION!!!!!!! 

kaitlyn dever is eating everyone up. why is amy adams... not good in this??? how did stephen chbosky pull a bad performance out of her?

this little jog omfg evan hansen is not beating the gay allegations 

colton ryan is so unbelievably sexy. sincerely me is a good number. good job team!!! 

DID CONNOR MURPHY HIT THE FOLKS???????

they clearly made jared gay so they could get away with the gay jokes and circumvent flack from sensitive gays on twitter but god do i miss the lighthearted homophobia of the stage version!!! it’s always fun to have a bit of that dusted into a film. 

requiem. another FLOP number. 

the set dresser said “what would the bedroom of an american girl doll who went to the women’s march look like if that american girl doll only shopped for furniture at target?” and then did zoe’s room 


it did NOT look cool when she put indigo streaks in her hair. evan is SO GAY for knowing what indigo even is. 

alana beck stop being a grifter challenge 

ALANA COMPARING MEDS WITH EVAN BYEEEEEEE NOT THIS TIKTOK TRAUMADUMPER IRL!!!! I HATE THIS!

new song. pasek and paul i hate you and your work (stan dogfight though) 

i cannot believe i have an hour and 17 left. wow. what a SLOG this film is! it’s biggest sin is being boring and long. 

“here it is. the tie he hung himself with♥️“ awww!

seeing a tie on a doorknob just makes me think of james ransone jerking off to a tennis game in larry clark’s “ken park”

i still can’t believe you will be found has become such an anthem. it’s insane that this song wasn’t even written as ironic because it so is. it’s placement in the show and the song in context contradicts the fucking “fight song for gay people” thing they’ve turned it into. it’s like the title song from Cabaret. why is THAT an anthem when it’s purely ironic based on everything you’ve seen in the show? in cabaret it’s intentional, in deh it definitely is not. 

evan’s bio just being Evan is so fucking funny. 16,000 followers and 700 following is a TOIGHT and SEXY ratio 

i wanna see evan hansen get a handjob. that would be funny i think. 

the LEAST sexual chemistry in cinema history between these actors. i cannot imagine them banging. when i imagine it i’m sick. 

next time i royally fuck up im just gonna say “words fail” because that is SO funny 

how do i have half an hour left? holy fucking shit????

what sort of emotional recall shit was ben platt doing to sob like this? he’s been retraumatizing himself for 6 years!!!

shoutout single moms, gotta be one of my favorite genders 

HIS APOLOGY VIDEO SLAYYYYY YAAAAASSS!!!!!!! 
#accountability #cancelled #evanhansenisoverparty
#BTS

my fav book in 8th grade was cat’s cradle too... i could’ve fixed Connor i think

Dell laptops are FREAKING OUT at how hard this movie is flopping... they put all their dell dollars into it!!!! dammit universal!!!

okay so the movie is over. it was gay af

ivy wolk liked these reviews