• Master

    Master

    ★★

    More spooky Ghost Witch horror, less unsatisfying social commentary please and thank you. Great rant scene from Regina Hall towards the end, though.

  • Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City

    Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City

    Some stylish filmmaking and good monster effects/gore can only get you so far when you have a script that sloppily tries to mash the first two games into a single movie, sluggish pacing and a cast that seems to have no idea what they the hell they're doing. And allow me to get on that last part: The characterization is for the most part pretty insulting, with a lot of these on screen depictions of Resident Evil favorites feeling shallow…

  • The Sadness

    The Sadness

    ★★★

    First 20 minutes of this had a real manic energy to it that had me sold for something good and I haven't seen this much gore in a movie since The Night Comes For Us, but once we cut to some rampage on a train, it just stalls and looses all momentum from there. Also, I can't believe I'm saying this but I actually wish this wasn't so self serious. I think a wackier tone would have gelled better with…

  • Moonfall

    Moonfall

    ★★★

    Enormously stupid by any logical objective standard, Charlie Plummer is surprisingly terrible and flat, first hour is honestly joyless despite the pace, has a flimsier understanding of how time works worse than any given Michael Bay movie, eye rolling worshipping of Elon Musk + vindication of conspiracy theorists and there are times when the CG can look really fake. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut once this heads into space, Roland Emmerich full commits to every single batclap crazy idea in his brain while also…

  • Drag Me to Hell

    Drag Me to Hell

    ★★★★★

    James Wan obviously looked towards this while he was developing Malignant and said "Yeah I wanna make something like that" but frankly, no matter much he tried - and he swung for the fences - he still has a thing or two to learn in contrast to a master like Raimi. There's such a dialed up derangement about this movie that just makes it so fucking endearing. And it also strangely works as a good gateway for learning how metaphors…

  • Nitram

    Nitram

    ★★★

    Terrifically well acted, absolutely committed to its relentlessly dark mood, has some really sharp scenes like anything with the dogs or Judy Davis' devastating monologue around the 40 minute mark but watching this couldn't help but remind me of the same reaction I had towards We Need To Talk About Kevin: Impressively made but so cold and unpleasant that it becomes impenetrable to connect to on any sort of emotional level outside of stomach churning disgust. I can certainly watch…

  • Wrath of Man

    Wrath of Man

    ★★★★

    LLSH.

  • To Sir, with Love

    To Sir, with Love

    ★★★★

    The progenitor of pretty much every "Teacher helps out troubled youths" movie ever made but I'll be damned if it doesn't have its charms, both in a classic and contemporary sense. Sidney Poitier was one of the Grade A legends of acting and films such as these only show why. Plus the ending is just lovely.

  • We're All Going to the World's Fair

    We're All Going to the World's Fair

    ★★★

    Not sure if this really comes together as anything when all is said and done and the shoe string budget shows but this does nail that feeling of loneliness and existential dread of being on the internet and the strange things one can find within it. It's also much more sadder than the marketing makes it out to be, with its horror trappings feeling more like they're in service of a particularly dark coming of age movie. And I must…

  • The Northman

    The Northman

    ★★★★★

    "HEAR ME ODIN, ALLFATHER OF THE GODS. SUMMON THE SHADOWS OF THE PAST WHEN THE THREAD SPINNING NORNS RULED THE FATES OF MEN. HEAR OF A PRINCES VENGENCE QUENCHED AT THE FIERY GATES OF HELL! A PRINCE DESTINED FOR VALHÖLL! HEAR ME!"

    Watching this felt like the sort of movie that if I were 13 or 14, it'd be the best movie ever made. And at my current age of 28, I'm sort of thinking the same fucking thing. Robert…

  • Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion

    Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion

    ★★★★★

    This starts off with a prison break involving periods, rapid dogs, shamelessly perverted guards and does not stop from there. A gleefully exploitative piece of rape/revenge/prison thriller that shamelessly shoves every kind of tit, ass, pussy, dick, blood and guts in your face for barely 90 minutes and never stops. This is the story of thing that will make you avert your eyes if you're a prude but for sickos like me, you'll be hooping and hollering at seeing almost…

  • The Witch

    The Witch

    ★★★★★

    Fucked if true.