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  • Paradise Beach

    Paradise Beach

    ½

    [grunting]

    I probably watched 45 minutes of this before turning it off and making a vow to never complete it. Paradise Beach is one of the worst films I've seen this year, let alone one of the worst Netflix has put out.

    It was edited like a reunion special and the acting was shitty. I flicked it over to the English Dub after a while and that just made it worse.

    3%

  • Fun & Fancy Free

    Fun & Fancy Free

    ★★★

    No longer was the valley happy, for without the magic of the harp, all was misery, misery, misery.

    Another day, another package film from Disney during their fragile state of the 1940s. This time a love story about a bear, whom shares a similar story to Dumbo; and Jack and the Beanstalk... but with Mickey Mouse.

    I have to say the animation still slaps, and it boggles my mind how easily it transfers to HD, but ultimately this serves no…

  • The Three Caballeros

    The Three Caballeros

    ★★★★

    This Donald! Did you ever see such a fast worker?

    Trying to breeze through these early Disney music films and get to the good stuff. The Three Caballeros was a decent flick with Donald Duck taking the lead once again!

    This was fun. The colors were nice. The songs were entertaining, and the sequences were brilliant. Nothing too terrible within this at all.

    76%

  • Saludos Amigos

    Saludos Amigos

    ★★★

    So, adios, Hollywood, and saludos, amigos.

    An average short, but I'm glad it was short. The first two segments were pretty fun, with the llama and the plane. The live segments were boring, and I don't recall the last two segments either.

    I didn't know Donald Duck was in these.

    64%

  • The Reluctant Dragon

    The Reluctant Dragon

    ★½

    He kills me. Only I can't understand a thing he says.

    It doesn't surprise me that this wasn't my favorite Disney film, it was a mess. I get it was made in the 40s but they used two types of film and animation cuts in between segments. The environment was bland and this really has nothing to offer.

    32%

  • Noelle

    Noelle

    ★★★★

    Well, you can't be Santa if you're having a nervous breakdown.

    Disney tried and succeeded at making a progressive holiday film for younger audiences, and Noelle definitely has the right focus in its spirit. The messages are clear in how the holidays are a time to connect and think about others rather than being selfish, and it's desire to empower young women is prominent once the climax hits its peak.

    The only faults within this film were its pacing in…

  • Bambi

    Bambi

    ★★★★

    I'm thumpin'! That's why they call me Thumper!

    Bambi is a cute little story about a deer growing up in the forest with some bumps along the way. It reminds me of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer a bit, seeing as how we were able to meet him as a young boy and watch him grow up as time went on.

    Disney struck gold with this film, and it's underrated if I'm being honest. I usually can't bother with movies about…

  • Dumbo

    Dumbo

    ★★½

    Here is a baby with eyes of blue, straight from heaven, right to you.

    It's really upsetting to find out that one of my favorite characters from Disney was created and endured his traumas in a shitshow like this. Now don't get me wrong, I can see why this had a great impact back in the day, but Dumbo is a sad little movie that can't currently redeem itself.

    I genuinely thought Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs was going…

  • Fantasia

    Fantasia

    ★★★½

    What you're going to see are the designs and pictures and stories that music inspired in the minds and imaginations of a group of artists.

    Fantasia is the first feature I've watched on Disney+, and it's definitely a great feeling having access to classics like this. There's not much to say other than that this did exactly what it's supposed to... bring you into a magical world.

    I think this could've been a bit shorter. There were great stories with…

  • Beware the Slenderman

    Beware the Slenderman

    ★★½

    Make sure she's down.

    Watched this over a course of two weeks for my Government class, due to the debate of whether children should get the death sentence because of their crimes.

    While this started off as informative about the case and the mythology regarding Slenderman, it quickly went downhill and really became one sided in it's argument.

    Comprised of obviously fake YouTube videos regarding the internet legend and nonstop reviews that really didn't show anything other than lack of parenting skills, this felt draining with it's third and fourth acts.

    53%

  • The Hateful Eight

    The Hateful Eight

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Got room for one more?

    EXTENDED VERSION

    Well, it's time I get to watch the acclaimed films that have been on my watchlist for a while, and this time around it's my third Tarantino film. The Hateful Eight is a great watch, visually for certain, yet it's hindered by lazy writing.

    The version that I watched was the extended cut on Netflix, which ran for a solid 210 minutes, and I think the episodic format really saved this for me. Thinking…

  • Parasite

    Parasite

    ★★★★★

    To extract a woman like that, we need to prepare well.

    While it's genre identifies as a comedy-thriller, Parasite is much more than an average person skimming through IMDb might think. It's been months since I first gained interest in seeing this, and when my new favorite local theater announced their limited release screenings, I jumped to see it as soon as I could.

    The story is so much more involved than it seems, and there's more to this than…