me blitzø. me make funny movies.

working on wooden, my debut feature.

Favorite films

  • Gremlins 2: The New Batch
  • Ed Wood
  • Screamplay
  • Wendell & Wild

Recent activity

  • Bones and All


  • Black Panther: Wakanda Forever


  • Faster


  • The Rutles: All You Need Is Cash


Recent reviews

  • Bones and All

    Bones and All


    finger lickin' good

  • Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

    Black Panther: Wakanda Forever


    kevin feige be like "ok you can have a piece of slommy but only a lil" but instead of savory meat, the "slommy" is a well-shot movie.

Popular reviews

  • Minions: The Rise of Gru

    Minions: The Rise of Gru


    why the fuck was a tame impala song in the minions movie?

    this movie may have a transparent ass plot but in a world where norm of the north is apparently high quality enough to be shown in theaters, i would actually prefer watching the minions any day of the week tbh. they actually ain't all that bad.

    not bad, illuminations ya certainly cooked up a nice, simple piece of fast food animation full of dumb fun.

  • Morbius


    Jared Leto would kill a guy and eat his brain in real life for a 19% on Rotten Tomatoes.

    Morbius is the film equivalent of your college roommate who is both so damn high and drunk that he's permanently confused. It's so self-disoriented that it's hilarious. It's evident that it was patched together by possibly-divorced, middle-aged, balding businessmen who don't understand the concept of a cinematic universe and think that all the Marvel movies since 2002 are in the same universe. It doesn't even know what universe it's in. It's honestly cute.

    Unlike the Venom duology, we're not laughing with it, we're laughing at It.