Mary Poppins Returns ★★½

This is an extremely faithful sequel: It’s long and kind of boring and intermittently dazzling with beautiful animation and clever dances, and then it goes back to being a children’s movie about the inner workings of the British banking industry. Kids love banking subplots!

You heard me, the original Mary Poppins isn’t a great movie (with great songs and some great sequences). This has been Matt Singer’s Mary Poppins Returns Hot Take. Thank you for your polite attention.