Favorite films

  • Air Bud: Golden Receiver
  • Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch
  • Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom
  • Air Bud: Spikes Back

Recent activity

  • Scream


  • Hotel Transylvania: Transformania


  • The Pizzagate Massacre


  • The French Dispatch


Recent reviews

  • Scream




    Oh my God, you dare besmirch thine holy name.

    Meta slasher that's only self aware when it's actively going out of it's way to do so. Cash grab disguised as an homage that wastes the original cast harder than the recent Halloween did. Run through the Gen Z algorithm blender, set to purify and fed to fans of the originals in a trough. Nostalgia bait bullshit helmed by two very talented directors (Southbound, Ready Or Not) in a…

  • Hotel Transylvania: Transformania

    Hotel Transylvania: Transformania


    Johnny's skin will loosen, soften, wrinkle and decay. His organs will fail and he will return to the earth a husk, alone and frightened. Drac, Mavis and Dennis will live on, and on further still, to encounter plenty of Johnny's in the stillness of their time and put them to rest just the same. Inhabiting a world that ages before their weary eyes as they, jaded and immortal, become casual observers to it's flippant apathy.

    I'm excited for the eventual Hotel Transylvania 9: Rot Of A Mortal Soul.

Popular reviews

  • The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

    The Human Centipede (First Sequence)


    The Human Centipede vs. Marley & Me.

    Profound, life-changing relationship between man and pet? Check.

    Disobedient, troublesome, but also loveable creature? Check.

    Seemingly fruitless training montage? Check.

    The bittersweet passing of a beloved pet that forces you to reflect on the fleeting nature of life? Check check check check check.

    Both animals could be described as naughty and neurotic.
    One has trouble not eating garbage, one refuses to eat ass-to-mouth.
    But in the end John the family-man and Heiter the crazed…

  • Brand New Cherry Flavor

    Brand New Cherry Flavor


    This is Netflix's apology for Fear Street and honestly, I'll take it. Gross, gory, mean, strange, perverted fun.