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  • Tigtone and the Pilot

    Tigtone and the Pilot

    ★★★★½

    Is Tigtone the most incredible show ever made? Yes.
    Is it a work of art the likes of which the world has never seen? Yes.
    Have we peaked as a society in both animation and storytelling? Yes.
    Will we all eventually pass into the great unknown only to be remembered by future alien civilizations in that we've left them humanity's greatest achievement- Tigtone? Yes.
    Is this review filled with flagrant hyperbole? Yes.
    Is hyperbole generally frowned upon as a means…

  • Asking For It

    Asking For It

    ★★

    This was just stupid enough for me to hate-watch it, but also enjoyable enough not feel too guilty for ignoring my stack of unopened criterion blu rays staring at me from across the room.

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  • The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

    The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

    ★★★

    The Human Centipede vs. Marley & Me.

    Profound, life-changing relationship between man and pet? Check.

    Disobedient, troublesome, but also loveable creature? Check.

    Seemingly fruitless training montage? Check.

    The bittersweet passing of a beloved pet that forces you to reflect on the fleeting nature of life? Motherfcking check.

    Both animals could be described as naughty, nocuous and neurotic.
    One has trouble not eating garbage, one refuses to eat ass-to-mouth.
    But in the end John the family-man and Heiter the crazed German doctor…

  • Revenge

    Revenge

    ★★★★

    "The gooiest, goopiest, glopiest film of the decade."
    -The New York Times


    "Wildly attractive people stabbing the fuck out of each other."
    -The Chicago Tribune


    "The menstrual blood of ten thousand empowered women paint the fury of a woman scorned."
    -Christian
    Broadcasting Network


    "Through the darkened reflection of the TV as the credits roll, my girlfriend glares at me. Our eyes meet. She whispers 'Serves you right'. She is holding a shard of glass. I am confused."
    -Greg


    "I know…