The Lighthouse

The Lighthouse

“I’m sick of your laughing, your snoring, and your goddamn farts!..” 

Someone: *offers light criticism* 

Me: “NEPTUNE STRIKE YE DEAD! Hark, Triton, HARK!!” 

Unironically going to learn Willem Dafoe’s “ye like me cookin’” monologue by heart so I can whip it out at the slightest provocation. Taco Bell gets my order wrong? Hark Triton! Girlfriend beats me at Scrabble? Hark Triton! I perform poorly in pick-up basketball? You goddamn know it, I’m calling upon Triton to strike them dead and plunge through their gullet. 

Block or Report