The Worst Person in the World

The Worst Person in the World ★★★★★

I've never fallen in love with a character the way i have with Julie. Her uncertainty, the envy you can feel when you watch people laughing, feeling like you're witnessing everyone else's storyline unfold and you're just a background actor in it, never really starting anything, waiting for your life to finally begin, feeling afraid of missing out on anything. 

From the beginning of the film, she is faced with (and wanting to escape) mortality. Whether seeing dead bodies being dissected, in her boyfriend’s older friends with kids, in the sickness at the end, all moments that terrify her but further push her more into indecisiveness. 
I could feel how badly she wished the world could just accept the way she lives her life, that her mind might change often, that she never truly knows what she's craving, therefor she had to try it all, have an almost naïve view of things. And that it should be okay, it shouldn't be the worst thing, and yet the world around her can't help but make her feel like the villain for wanting (or suddenly not wanting) certain things.

She escapes anything real, anything concrete that might possibly root her to one spot. The way the moment someone tells her how they feel, the moment they truly define it, it becomes something else, something heavy, something she might break, and makes her want to run away. The fear of committing to just one thing in life, because there's just so much out of life she wants, so many paths to take, reminded me a bit of Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar fig tree moment. (she definitely has gemini placements...)
The way she can never really take decisions because it might close the door on something else, so she often just lets life decide for her (the shower scene near the end, with the blood, when she smiles because she feels relief that she no longer has to take a decision, or when she stays with partners out of fear of regretting leaving/missing out so she lives in wilful discontent, until something comes to motivate her, almost like a sign, always wanting the universe to give her sense of who she is.) 

Also the scene where time stops as she goes to his work....... :( 
The actors were incredible,
TLDR: this movie destroyed me

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