My first Todd Haynes movie and I can’t wait to dive into his filmography now. It’s honestly miraculous the way he is able to tell a story here that is so twisted and disturbing at its core, with a sick sense of humor bubbling under the surface at the same time. These are unquestionably 3 of the best performances of the year, with Portman having maybe the most memorable scene that we’re bound to see in an awards show clip, but…
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Saltburn 2023
Emerald Fennell is quickly becoming one of my favorite filmmakers to watch, and similar to her polarizing but confident debut, I’m sure Saltburn will yield plenty of discourse and people clamoring over it “trying too hard to be provocative.” If you ask me, I’d say there’s one scene in this movie that is potentially guilty of said criticism… that I don’t quite know if I can justify from a character standpoint despite how disturbingly hilarious it was, but otherwise, I…
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The Last Samurai 2003
Was really taken aback by just how gorgeous this movie is, from the lush locations and kinetic action set-pieces that hold up very well, to the incredible cinematography and use of lighting… pair all of that with one of Hans Zimmer’s most underrated scores and you’ve got a winner in my book. I think one of the things that I appreciated most about The Last Samurai is that where most movies in this genre (and of this era) settle for…
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Thanksgiving 2023
Knows exactly what movie it’s trying to be and never waivers from that. Thanksgiving is ridiculously over the top but thankfully very self-aware, it has about 15 different red herrings as to who the killer could be, and some truly gnarly kills that had me squirming. Not much more you can ask of throwback slasher like this, even if it does have some very obnoxious jump-scares and very iffy acting to put it generously. Destined to become a Thanksgiving classic for sickos like me.
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Sicario 2015
“This is the land of the wolves, and you are not one.”
It makes me deeply sad that we will only ever have 2 movies that bring together the collective genius of Denis Villeneuve, Roger Deakins and Jóhann Jóhannson respectively. Sicario is a masterclass of tension from start to finish with some of the most gorgeously lit set-pieces you will ever see, and a score that fluctuates between being unnervingly ominous, to gorgeously melancholic.
This was my first time seeing…
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Dream Scenario 2023
After the misfire that was The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, it’s so great to see Nicolas Cage in something that feels so perfectly written for him, but not just “Hey look at me I’m Nicolas Cage, remember Con Air and The Rock??. His character here plays perfectly to his strengths as an actor, allowing for some genuinely hilarious comedic moments that harken back to the iconic Cage meltdowns of old, while balancing those out with some genuinely heartfelt drama/romance…
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Five Nights at Freddy's 2023
I can recall maybe 15% of this and I saw it a week ago. I hate that I contributed to this movie’s already ridiculously inflated box office run, and that we’re gonna now have like 5 more of these turds over the next few years. Basically an encapsulation of everything I hate about PG-13 horror that doesn’t even feel like it would be remotely scary to a 7 year old. Just painfully boring from start to finish, and even Matthew Lillard can barely inject any life into it.
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Killers of the Flower Moon 2023
I firmly believe that somewhere in this very good 3 and a half hour movie is a phenomenal 2 hour and 45 minute movie. The story it tells is an incredibly fascinating one, but the middle section begins to feel redundant and I think the choice to tell it through Ernest’s eyes does it a disservice. I was far more interested in the actual Osage perspective, which the movie certainly offers a fair amount of screen time to, but there…
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The Exorcist: Believer 2023
Came in ready to tear this to absolute shreds because DGG’s Halloween is genuinely one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, but to be honest… y’all are being dramatic. Don’t get me wrong, there are some laughably bad scenes like the one in the church, but I’ve seen some terrible horror movies this year and this is far from the worst. It at least has really good performances, some blink and you’ll miss it creepy imagery, and a surprisingly ballsy…
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Saw X 2023
Utterly insane that we can now say there are TEN movies in this franchise but thankfully Saw X serves as one of the best installments since the very first. The decision to set this one so early in the timeline is actually a clever plus because the traps harken back to the leaner, brutal but simple days of early Saw, rather than the focus being on constantly trying to one-up how elaborate the set-pieces are. A little cheap that the…
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When Evil Lurks 2023
One of the most unrelentingly bleak movies I’ve seen in some time… it takes a lot to make me wince and gasp but When Evil Lurks fucking goes there in ways I truly did not expect. Love the way it takes elements of possession and virus movies that we’ve seen before and puts its own spin on things. From scene one you’re thrust into a world in which the characters are as confused about the “rules” as the audience is,…
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Pet Sematary: Bloodlines 2023
Watched this less than a week ago and could barely tell you anything about it. Next to nothing redeemable, jam-packed with every eye-roll inducing cliché in the book, and lacking an ounce of genuine tension. Amongst the laundry list of horror cardinal sins this movie commits, we have a cut to end credits on the film’s second jump scare using a loud semi-truck SUDDENLY driving by… can’t make this shit up.
Wish this franchise would take its own advice and recognize when something is better left dead.