Planet of the Apes ★★

From its rock-bottom reputation, I was expecting something truly awful from this. Instead I just got something truly mediocre, which is maybe worse. The parts that are just character actors chewing scenery in top-notch ape makeup are at least kinda fun, and even the much-maligned ending is at least a swing at something, but the long middle section is dull as dogshit and anchored by an insufferably bland human cast. This might have some interest if it had any of Burton's personality at all, even his worst tricks and hang-ups, but he's asleep at the wheel here and that's just no fun at all. He probably spent more energy sputtering out a nonsense defense of the ending than he did paying mind to anything else here.