The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 ★★★★★

im so glad bella's merciful creators finally allowed her to experience sexual pleasure without her body responding like she's been hit by a bus, her intestines wrapped around the wheels, freed bones lodged deep in the undercarriage. bella just wanted to FUCK!!!! i love how offended she gets when jacob calls the baby nessie YOU NICKNAMED MY DAUGHTER AFTER THE LOCH NESS MONSTER???????????? as if renesmee is a good name we need to respect the sanctity of renesmee asksjsksksks. jacob stripping in the woods for charlie so he can wolf out just like showing his dad's best friend his dingaling in the forest. vampires arm wrestling for fun (outside of all the repressive sex/gender stuff this one seems the most obviously mormon in nature?). of course there's the cgi baby/child which is just such an unhinged choice i now cannot help but fully respect it. cant believe i never did before! every single thing in this movie and the books is so convenient like there's never any real threat of legitimate narrative conflict because everything works out perfectly in the end! they toy with your emotions but take the easy way out on that one too. amazing. i am kind of mad they invented a bunch of cool guy vampires in the last movie and then theres no full movie of these wicked lil vampire freaks. i suddenly realized identify with emmett most of all people he's just a big horny bitch who loves drama and hardboiled eggs. also rob is at peak edward hotness here he was rly holding out on us. these movies legit just get better with age! michael sheen's little yelping chortles, smug chuckles, and delighted gasps illuminated the darkest parts of my soul. he is SO amazing in this but everyone is, really. a perfect movey. 💗💞💗

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