Favorite films

  • RoboCop
  • Barry Lyndon
  • The Long Goodbye
  • The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad

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  • Malignant

    ★★★★

  • The Matrix Reloaded

    ★★★★

  • The Matrix

    ★★★★★

  • The Lords of Salem

    ★★★

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  • The Master

    The Master

    ★★★★★

    Lancaster: are you scientific in your thoughts?
     
    Freddie, who has the iq of a clam: yes

  • The Lighthouse

    The Lighthouse

    ★★★★★

    You smell like piss, you smell like jism, like rotten dick, like curdled foreskin, like hot onions fucked a farmyard shithouse.

    --Thurl Ravenscroft, "You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch"

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  • Malignant

    Malignant

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Lmfao

  • The Matrix Reloaded

    The Matrix Reloaded

    ★★★★

    Has the problem that a lot of early 2000s sequels to late 90s movies had where the filmmakers now had access to more advanced CG so instead of it being used sparingly and creatively every third setpiece now looks like a rendered PS3 cutscene.

    The sexual whiplash of going from the Zion rave and the Merovingian scene to having to look at the lecherous Twins is enough to give an unsuspecting person like me osteoporosis.

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  • Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills

    Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills

    ★★★

    The Big Four Of Thrash Metal: Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer, and U2.

  • Ready Player One

    Ready Player One

    ½

    I really tried to go into this movie with an open mind, as funny as that sounds. I really, genuinely did. But I hate this movie. I hate this movie in a real, human way. This movie is a celebration of the young, mediocre white male, their fetishization of women, and their unshakable worship of base level pop culture references. This movie is a 500 foot tall statue of The Pickle Rick wearing a novelty t-shirt featuring Deadpool in front of the TARDIS, towering over the crumbled ruins of artistic merit.

    Steven Spielberg Retire Bitch