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  • Fateful Findings

    Fateful Findings

    ½

    N̶o̶ ̶l̶a̶p̶t̶o̶p̶s̶ ̶w̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶h̶a̶r̶m̶e̶d̶ ̶d̶u̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶m̶a̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶f̶i̶l̶m̶.̶

    By far the most entertaining Breen film I've seen yet. Government secrets, thrown objects, and oddly nude dream sequences tie this so-bad-it's-good masterpiece together, leading to an explosive ending that won't disappoint.

    "It's a magical day" - Young Neil Breen

  • Invasion of the Saucer-Men

    Invasion of the Saucer-Men

    ★★

    "You got my bull drunk, now I'm gonna take the law into my own hands"

  • The Blue Shell Incident

    The Blue Shell Incident

    ★★★½

    "Truth is, the game was rigatoni from the start Luigi."

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUT2kKZeUpo

  • Them!

    Them!

    ★★★★

    Them! holds up suprisingly well for a 1950s giant monster film, even if it feels intrinsically tied to its early Cold War era zeitgeist. Check this one out if you're interested in collectivist-giant-ant themed horror rooted in fear of the communist 'red-menace', panic over the domino theory, and general atomic anxiety.

  • Do the Right Thing

    Do the Right Thing

    ★★★★★

    Thirty-one years after its release, Do The Right Thing remains a relevant classic and a must watch. Spike Lee's attention to detail throughout the film is impeccable, which causes Do The Right Thing's world feel like a living community. Spike Lee takes this concept of community further through camera work that engages with the world it exists in, moving imperfectly though it as though the camera were itself a character within the community. This sense of community, alongside a cast…

  • Silent Night, Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out!

    Silent Night, Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out!

    How these filmmakers managed to turn a series of movies about a killer Santa Claus into this horrendously boring tale is beyond me. The most interesting thing this film has going for it is the killer's glass brain dome, but I wish there'd be more focus on the guy wearing it and better overall utilization of this film's barely present Christmas setting to at least make this a story filled with campy fun (instead of a film filled with achingly meaningless dialogue moments between non-emotive characters who stumble through this snooze-scape).

  • Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2

    Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2

    Seeing the "GARBAGE DAY!!!" scene in context was fun, as were some of the other so-bad-it's-good one liners, but, as a whole, Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 tends to be more boring than fun.

    The first half of the film is a fourty minute recap of the first Silent Night, Deadly Night using footage from the first film. As if that weren't tiring enough, the second half is essentially just a rehash of the story beats of the first…

  • Silent Night, Deadly Night

    Silent Night, Deadly Night

    ★★★

    The horror is about as schlocky as you'd expect from a movie about a slasher Santa Claus, but I'm impressed with how well they handle the killer's tragic backstory. I think it'd be easy to simply demonize a character like this and play him for laughs, but the movie asks that you take his trauma seriously and turns a simple Christmas slasher film into a classical tragedy (even including a foreboding Oracle in the form of the killer's grandfather).

    In…

  • Dracula

    Dracula

    ★★★

    "There are far worse things awaiting man than death" - Count Dracula

    There are some great moments sprinkled throughout this film, especially the opening scenes in Dracula's castle, but I find that it loses its momentum quickly after Dracula crosses the English Channel. At that point, the film transforms into something more akin to a soap opera than a horror film. This may be due to the film's origins as a 1924 stage play adaptation of Bram Stoker's novel, but…

  • Robot Monster

    Robot Monster

    "You look like a pooped out pinwheel." - Johnny

  • The Book of Henry

    The Book of Henry

    ★½

    This is Henry's world.... we just live in it.

  • Black Swan

    Black Swan

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Black Swan feels claustrophobic, tense, and progressively more nightmarish as the film goes on.

    Director Aronofsky achieves this effect through a number of cinematographic tricks that force the audience into Nina's ballet shoes. First, Aronofsky's cameras focus heavily on Nina in closeup shots. When Nina isn't in a direct close up, she can often be seen in one of the many mirrors strategically placed in almost every scene. When not directly framed by the camera or a mirror, Aronofsky also…