The Northman

The Northman ★★★★

Anya Taylor Joy? More like Anya Slayer of my heart cause I’m full of Joy 😉.

Willem Dafoe? More like Daddy just Dafoe me will ya 😛.

Alexander Skarsgard is so fucking jacked in this movie that I swear to god he could snap my neck with them abs.

Nicole Kidman is the hottest milf on the planet, god damn.

This movie was really “cutthroat” if ya catch my drift 😉 

There were so many naked people in this movie that I had to check just to make sure that I wasn’t accidentally watching Robert Egger’s badass Viking porn fantasy… I mean I’d watch that too but still

There wasn’t as much action and battles as I expected, but all the weird shit that’s pretty much a staple in Egger’s filmography more than made up for that. 

The Berserkers are just weebs at AnimeCon tripping balls, and I could relate to that very much.

If you couldn’t tell by the end of this review that I loved this movie, than you’re a big dumb dumb. Now if you’ll excuse me, a Valkyrie will be taking me to Valhalla now.

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