Delighted my first 2023 movie was something this fun. A horror comedy that doesn't let its own inherent ridiculousness be its sole driving force. Gemma (Allison Williams) is a career-focused inventor working for a toy company. We see her latest creation "Purrpetual Petz" in an ad that opens the film. It's a mass of fur with two huge eyes that promises to live longer than you will. That's the film condensed to a toy commercial, garishly a satire with just…
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Barbarian 2022
A sort of triptych about the horrors of being a woman, but it’s not as exhausting as that might sound. A labyrinth of tunnels and twists, you can’t get a full picture until the end. One of those movies that reviews can’t do any justice, you need to see it for yourself.
The first act is the trailer, Tess shows up to her rental and sure enough someone else is already staying there. Skarsgård is mild-mannered and awkward, but the…
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Barbarella 1968
Has any film ever immediately lived up to its reputation as much as Barbarella, which opens with Jane Fonda in a zero gravity striptease over the entire opening credits. Thousands of years in the future, society has so advanced that violence and even sex have become barbaric relics of the past. So when the President of Earth calls on Barbarella on her videophone wearing nary a stitch of clothing, it's of no matter to either of them. Even if the…
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Clash of the Titans 1981
This being Harryhausen's last film, it's almost surreal to see that he retired after one of his greatest successes, in terms of actual work and the reception critically and financially. That may owe somewhat to the lack of demand, but it's still a unique capstone to a legendary career.
Danaë and her infant son Perseus are entombed in a wooden chest and cast into the sea by her father. Zeus (Olivier), observing from his throne in Mt. Olympus, is so…
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Flash Point 2007
The first time I watched Flash Point, it was the truly awful dubbed version. Luckily I found the original version this time around and it made for a much better experience. Though I still strongly dislike the goofy 2000's fashion, the rest is thoroughly impressive.
Again set in pre-handover Hong Kong and continuing the theme of family from SPL. Three brothers, the eldest Tony, Archer and Tiger, discuss a drug deal at a crowded night club. Detective Ma Jun (Yen)…
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One Million Years B.C. 1966
It never once occurred to me that a movie with this title would have no dialogue. I feel as if this is a tremendous failure on my part. One Million Years B.C., billed as Hammer's 100th film, pulled out all of the stops recruiting budding star Raquel Welch and special effects wizard Ray Harryhausen. Opening like a nature documentary, our narrator sets the scene for us. A desolate land of volcanic ash and only the faintest signs of life. Cavemen…
