Blue Velvet

Blue Velvet ★★★★½

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

College kid returns to his hometown after his dad is injured in a freak accident. Kid finds severed ear on the ground. Kid plays Scooby-Doo detective. Kid hides in a closet. Kid gets caught in the middle of a crazy kidnapping scheme. Kid falls in love. Kid has final boss battle with loco Dennis Hopper. Just another day in the sleepy town of Lumberton, right?

Imagine if you could show Blue Velvet to someone unfamiliar with any of the actors. Now, ask them two questions. When was the movie made, and what year does the story of Blue Velvet take place? To me, Blue Velvet looks ageless and timeless. The cinematography and the look of the actual film are flawless. It's as colorful as a Skittles rainbow.

Now, the fun part. What year does the story take place? Look at the cars, the way people dress, the Heineken Kyle Mac drinks, the local diner, the pay phones, the houses, the hospital, the log trucks, the makeup Dean Stockwell wears on his spooky face, Double Ed, Laura Dern's tight blue jeans, and Dennis Hopper's mask he uses to inhale crazy fumes. It's like, there's no actual year. What does that sound like? To me, it feels like a dream. Is this movie a dream? I don't know. But, what I do know is: David Lynch is the king of creating his own universe. So much of Blue Velvet makes zero sense, but in David Lynch's world it makes absolute perfect sense. I have more examples of zero sense making, but you need to watch the movie for yourself, and see what you think doesn't add up. I don't wanna spoil anything for you.

I think Blue Velvet is a flawed masterpiece. Dennis Hopper is so fuckin' nuts. He's overacting, but he doesn't care. Isabella Rossellini has these crazy eyes that scare the fuck outta me. Kyle MacLachian is vanilla as Vanilla Ice. Laura Dern cries ugly like the ugly duckling. It's all good though. The 4.5 rating means two things. I saw a few flaws, and I don't think it's fair to Blue Velvet to award it 5 stars on a first watch. I want to watch it over and over, until the flaws are meaningless. That's why, I think it's a flawed masterpiece. In a way, flawed masterpieces are more special than perfect pieces.

You don't watch a David Lynch movie; you experience it. I don't say that, just to say that, I mean it! I love the way Mr Lynch uses music in his movies. Who doesn't jam out to Chris Isaak? I love the way the movie is shot. The camerawork is pure magical bliss. I believe Mr Lynch is the master of getting the absolute best out of his cast. Laura Dern is so damn good. I love her sweet innocence, and I want to slow dance with her. Ms Rossellini gives one of the most vulnerable and courageous performances an actress can give. Some of her scenes took straight up bravery to do. Kyle is Kyle, and if you're a Lynch fan, you dig him. (I love Kyle.) Dennis Hopper makes crazy, cool as a motherfucker, and says the word fuck, like his name is Mr Fucksayalot. What more can I tell you? Oh yeah, watch Blue Velvet, like right now!!

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