Gone Girl ★★★★

Bootleg Batman's wife goes missing and what comes next is possible proof that maybe marriage really is the motherfucker in this twisty edge of your seat thriller from David Fincher. Pretty hair. Candy kiss. Evil chin. Jonesy the cat's cousin. Sassy sister. The most original name for a bar is The Bar. The missing wife's voiceover is a cross between the Desperate Housewives's narrator and the sexy lady who read the letters on the mid-90's Cinemax TV show Hotline. Dear diary. Almost Famous cop? Jamie McShane has one of those character actor faces. Kim Dickens channels her inner Kyra Sedgwick and makes an awesome tough as nails detective. Ben Affleck's smirk. Remember the Scott Peterson case? Author and screenwriter Gillian Flynn had to be inspired by that case when writing Gone Girl. Emily Ratajkowski's tits. Doogie Howser without his prescription pad. The media's obsession with sensationalism reporting is borderline insanity. Gone Girl is a perfect example with the Nancy Grace clone that's almost as annoying as the real Nancy Grace, the over-the-top press conferences, the media camping out at Batman's house, the way the public's opinion changes on the dime, and even super sexy Sela Ward is just a much prettier version of Katie Couric. Fuck you media! Holy motherfucker! It's Madea in drag and she's playing a sleazy lawyer and she has a cool as fuck realistic beard. Attack of the killer gummy bears. The look on NPH's face scares the fuck outta me. I questioned some of Fincher's casting choices, but the supporting players are the real deal. Trailer park tramp stamp. Trent Reznor knows how to create the David Fincher vibe. His musical score is one of my favorite elements of the film. NPH's penny loafers. Bloody razor. Bat wang. Fake smile. Fuck! Gone Girl has more twists than a Chubby Checker song. To disclose more of the plot would be a disservice to anyone who hasn't seen the film. I'm glad I never read the novel because I had no clue what was going on at times, and I was genuinely surprised more than once. As a thriller this kicks major ass. This is no Se7en, but it's damn good. The ending could've been better, but for a two-and-a-half hour film it keeps you entertained and guessing throughout. Ben Affleck is almost Oscar worthy as the husband. Rosamund Pike makes a nice Gone Girl. A very exciting and well made Hollywood film that's an easy recommendation for fans of twisty thrillers, Ben Affleck, and Mr. Fincher.

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