Scream ★★★★★

*previously a 97*

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—my biggest regret as a critic is I’ll never be able to properly put into words what makes Scream so good, and the only way I could ever convey it is by posting the entire script. I’m not going to put you all through that, so here’s an arbitrarily ranked list of my favorite lines in the movie.

1. “My mom and dad are gonna be so mad at me!”
2. “There’s always some stupid bullshit reason to kill your girlfriend!”
3. “I’ll send you a copy.”
4. “*licks fingers* Corn syrup.”
5. “Behind you, Jamie. Hey Jamie, turn around.”
6. “You fuckin hit me with a phone, dick!”
7. “Sorry Deputy Dewey-boy, but we’re ready to go.”
8. “Remember to have fun. Don’t have too much fun or I’ll bust you. Bye Sid!”
9. “Because I want to know who I’m looking at.”
10. “I never thought I’d be so happy to be a virgin.”
11. “With that set of lungs, she should be.” “Tits, see?”
12. “No please don’t kill me, Mr. Ghostface! I wanna be in the sequel!”
13. “Did they put her liver in the mailbox? Because I heard they put her liver in the mailbox.”
14. “Hey, liver alone! Ow, ow, liver, liver! It’s a joke!”
15. “Alright Casper, that’s a wrap.”
16. “Not in my movie.”
17. “I was watching The Exorcist on TV. It reminded me of you.”
18. “Guess I remembered the safety that time, bastard.”
19. “There’s a thirty second delay!”
20. “What do you want?” “To talk.” “There are 800 numbers for that, bye now.”

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