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  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    ★★★★★

    For a long time, I thought there was no way I could possibly write about my favorite film of all time because I felt like there was nothing I could say that would do it justice. Then I realized, you know, that it doesn’t really matter what I say about it because this film speaks for itself. It is a perfect movie in every way and everything about it is well, perfect. The direction, the camerawork, the score, the lighting,…

  • 10 to Midnight

    10 to Midnight

    ★★★★★

    I finally got a chance to watch this and it is a beautifully glorious sleaze trashterpiece. Cannon, J. Lee Thompson and Charles Bronson is a great combination, but this might be the greatest of them all. 

    Part police procedural and part slasher, I really couldn’t ask for anything more...but wait, there is! There’s plenty of blood flying and the killer strips nude before he does his thing which means Gene Davis runs around with his dick swinging so often it’s…

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  • Land Shark

    Land Shark

    ★★★

    This is so very very the kind of movie that will probably only be enjoyed by Polonia enthusiasts and hey that’s me so yes I had a good time with this! Will you? I don’t even care! I’m really only watching the Polonia catalogue for myself so jump in with me or gtfo because there’s no room for posers when it comes to this kind of thing.

    It’s exactly like it says on the tin: there’s a shark that has…

  • Weedjies: Halloweed Night

    Weedjies: Halloweed Night

    ★★★½

    Omfg I wrote an entire review for this and it had THE AUDACITY to just disappear so FUCKKKKKKKK. I’m so beside myself with shock, awe, and madness that i can’t even remember what I said and that’s a shame because I know it was here and I am sure with a movie like this it was some incredibly deep and meaningful stuff. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh.

    Whatever! It was fun! I had fun! I loved the actual weedjies and hope to see them…

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  • The Haunting

    The Haunting

    ★★★★★

    Absolutely the best miniseries I have ever seen. Possibly the best miniseries ever made and yes I am absolutely serious.

    Everything in this was the best choice. The whole thing continuously impressed me, but that ending to episode 5 slapped my ass right across the room. Across the goddamn room. The entirety of episode 6 should and will be examined in film schools from here on. Episode 10 gave me so many intense feelings including some that I usually don’t…

  • Creepshow

    Creepshow

    ★★★★★

    Listen bitches I am WAY too drunk right now to give you a cohesive review so lemme just say that this movie is 5 stars if anything was ever 5 stars and I could watch it a million times and never get tired of it. One of the only decent memories I have of my father is watching this movie and it was so unbelievably scary when I was that young, but that’s also why I loved it even then.…