Halloween Kills

Halloween Kills ★★★★½

I figured this would be divisive before it even came out just for being what it is: a sequel to a direct sequel of a classic horror movie that ignores every previous sequel made before it. I know that whole concept kinda pisses some people off, but I’m sorry I love it so much. Just give me every reincarnation of Michael Myers as long as you keep giving him to me. If it’s good enough for Jamie Lee then goddamnit it’s good enough for me.

Now, was this a good movie? Well, that’s legitimately debatable and I can see where you’re coming from regardless of on which side of that fence you choose to stand. It looks great, it has some amazing 1978 flashback sequences, Loomis showing up is a blessing of technology of the time in which we live, and the finale was a virtuoso tour de force of slaughter that puts the Kills very appropriately in the title.

But it’s silly. And while the mob mentality and JLC screaming “sheep!” at everyone was oh so very timely, it was also just a bit cringe and absolutely unnecessary to this movie. The Tommy Doyle crew was enough and given that the kids didn’t even know who Michael Myers was, the entire town losing their shit was a bit of a stretch. The idea of so many people caring that much about a murderer in todays world is a bit much. No, actually the poster about vaccinations that is shown in the background during the mob scenes was a bit much. It seems like every horror movie made now wants to reflect on the real life horror of our current society and for fucks sake, enough already! We fucking get it. We live it every day. We want horror movies to escape real life, right? And the people who are actual sheep, the people screaming that vaccines are microchipped or whatever the latest fuckery is, they are not going to watch a movie with social commentary and suddenly have an epiphany and see how stupid they are so just put it to rest already.

But, in spite of that glaring issue, I still loved this deeply. I loved the nods to the original Halloween II because I’m not afraid to say that it’s my true favorite Halloween movie. Not the best one, but my favorite one. And I love seeing JLC listed as a producer in the credits. You’ve done so well, sweetie. I just couldn’t be more proud of the person you are and the respect you give to the horror community. And Judy Greer and Andi Matichak are just so very very perfectly cast. And seeing Charles Cyphers and Nancy Stephens again just made my heart glow. And the utter brilliance of a homo couple buying the Myers house and just gaying the shit out of everything and scaring kids with stories about what happened there. I. FELT. THAT.

So if you loved this too then you know how I feel and if you didn’t, then hey I get it. I know the problems I mentioned are more than some people are able to look past and that’s cool, you do you! I’m just so happy to have another old school slasher live on through movies made by people who love them that I can overlook just about anything to keep them alive. Never stop slaying, Michael.

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