Witchcraft 666: The Devil's Mistress

This is definitely the worst one so far. The demon baby turned white witch lawyer has been replaced again with a new actor and as per usual he’s ass deep in some bad witchcraft stuff. It introduces two new detectives that I understand make regular appearances throughout the rest of the sequels even if they are always played by different actors. Gotta love that dedication to continuity, right? Actually, one of the detectives is somewhat amusing and him along with these two scenes kept this from being completely awful...

Right at the beginning, this guy walks into a generic NY diner and orders coffee and the waitress hands him a Wendy’s cup with holes punched in the logo to avoid any possible lawsuits and I just REALLY want to know the story behind that. Like, they obviously filmed in a real diner but couldn’t find or shell out for a plain cup? Damn those budgetary restrictions! It’s great and I love it. The other scene is when the detectives bring in a psychic to help with the case and they hand her the victims pink lace bra because yeah sure why not. That’s absolutely standard procedure I’M SURE. Anyway, she holds it and then sniffs it (?!!) and then starts having these hysterical orgasmic convulsions while she tells them what she “senses” about Ms. Pink. Spoiler alert: she was really into sex.

Other than those things, this is mostly just soft core porn disguised as horror and even those scenes are almost entirely the kind where the girl gets completely naked and the guy just unzips his pants. I’m not a soft core expert (tho I might be after this series) but it seemed pretty insulting. And YES they sure did do a Basic Instinct rip-off but instead of Sharon Stone in a white miniskirt uncrossing her legs to change positions, it’s some no-name brunette in a white miniskirt uncrossing her legs to...wait for it...wait for it...cut a loose thread off the hem of her skirt and no I’m not even kidding.

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