The Unborn ★★★

VHS HELL PART III: SCHLOCK AND AWE #2

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First they wanted to control your body...now the babies want to control the world! 

Any movie with a baby in it is automatically a horror movie in my book, because those horrible little things are evil little titty-leeches and you CAN’T change my mind. I’m so glad I’m (A) not a woman who has to suffer a Boston Terrier-sized parasite living in my stomach and stealing my life force and nourishment, and (B) a loathsome, uncouth, blasphemous home-of-sexual that never has to worry about knocking a girl up on accident and dealing with the consequences. Oh, the movie...James Karen gets blasted in the face with a geyser of baby juice, a demon baby has a nice suckle on mommy’s tit before it kills its father with a crocheting needle, a non-stereotypical/non-demonized/non-sexualized lesbian couple is portrayed prominently without much fuss, and BABY GUTS GALORE. So it’s a pretty good time.

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