Velvet Buzzsaw ★½

There’s a throwaway joke in this awful movie that’s not even close to funny, unless of course you consider it as an analogy for the entire film, which I did and am about to do again here. An art critic walks into artist John Malkovich’s studio and sees a pile of trash bags on the floor. He kneels down, appearing impressed, and comments admiringly on the piece’s quality. “That’s not art,” Malkovich tosses over his shoulder. Like I said, it’s not really funny. But when you consider that, in reality, Velvet Buzzsaw is that heap of garbage lying there masquerading as art, Netflix is the idiot pretending they understand what the hell they’re talking about, and the rest of the world is John Malkovich, you can’t really help but chuckle at this terrible Netflix Original that contains the line “A bad review is better than sinking into the great glut of anonymity.” Oh, well. Judging by that quote, at least they’re happy.

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