RSS feed for robert
  • Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

    Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    maybe this is too galaxy brain but: a rape victim killing her rapist, a jewish woman killing hitler, a former slave killing a slave owner ≠ sharon tate’s murderers being slaughtered by a man who, uh, maybe killed his wife

  • The Lion King

    The Lion King

    ★★½

    I emote more by snoring than these lions do what the fuck

  • Midsommar

    Midsommar

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    jack reynor stars in POST NUT CLARITY

  • Spider-Man: Far from Home

    Spider-Man: Far from Home

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    jake g in this  is literally just a live action syndrome from the incredibles. stay woke.

  • Late Night

    Late Night

    ★★★½

    good to know that junior senator from new york and presidential candidate Kirsten Gillibrand can always fall back on her side career of being a seemingly heartless yet savvy network head

  • Rocketman

    Rocketman

    ★★★★

    the fact that the framing device for this movie is elton staggering into a group alcoholics anonymous meeting only to completely hijack it and go on to explain his entire life story?? while no one else ever talks?? the gay drama of it all

  • The Hustle

    The Hustle

    ★★★

    hmm off topic but have you guys noticed that AMC edited out the guy freaking the fuck out and spilling his popcorn all over himself??? it cuts away now!!! this is george lucas re-editing star wars all over again. "Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them" -George Elliot rest in piece popcorn man

  • Avengers: Endgame

    Avengers: Endgame

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    quick thoughts

    - those red time travel suits are still sooooo ugly
    -the final battle basically being avengers: hot potato 
    - NATALIE PORTMAN?????????
    - when all the chicks got together and it’s like yes thank for the reminder that for 10 years basically every single girl was a secondary character !
    - GOOP warriors lemme hear ya make some noise! she was in it so much fjsjfbsjdbs 
    - not to defend sc*r j* but they did her sooooo dirty. iron…

  • Homecoming: A Film by Beyoncé

    Homecoming: A Film by Beyoncé

    ★★★★½

    ain't that bout a bitch?

  • Avengers: Infinity War

    Avengers: Infinity War

    ★★★

    call this franchise an early-evening soirée with some bad snacks because it desperately needs some brie (cheese/larson)

  • Us

    Us

    ★★★★

    fun fact: lupita looked to elizabeth holmes for inspiration!

  • The Master

    The Master

    ★★★★

    does anyone think scientology is a good thing? I love amy adams. I think she's a really interesting artist.