Midsommar ★★★★½

I mean, sure, you TOLD your high school boyfriend that you and he would do acid for the first time TOGETHER but it never happened over the summer because he was too busy hanging with his buddies and now it is your first week at college and you are tripping so hard and you should be outside dancing under the trees that are all fractally and sliding away from themselves to mix with the stars but instead u r sitting on your dorm room bed with a favorite childhood comforter you brought with you from home even though it is kinda stained and you resolve right then and there that you are totally breaking up with that dude and then your jam comes on and you have to go dance with your new friends who are totally awesome if a little intense but dreamy and in touch with their emotions and not just a Call Of Duty controller!!! i mean it! first thing tomorrow someone is getting a meaningful phone call but it might be later in the afternoon? do i have class tomorrow? did i do the reading? should i try doing it now? the words keep moving around on the page. i wonder if someone can drive me to get coffee and pancakes. not THAT someone though, a totally different someone! pancakes sound both really good and really bad right now. i don't know. my hands look really weird, like my fingernails are going to start talking to me or like they are going to open up holes in spacetimes, tunnels really, or tears, like a cats claw caught in a curtain. wow. yeah. i don't know about that homework. i mean, if our fingernails are us, aren't they ALWAYS talking to us? or do they not have to? i am not crying in the bathroom rn because i can't cry on acid and i probably can't eat pancakes either but the IDEA of pancakes is so appealing and those pancake commercials are so funny. i really feel like they understand me. not like my dumb boyfriend. he isn't my boyfriend! he just doesn't know it yet! wait! now my song is over. should i call him? no, wait, lets go find someone who has a car and can drive. yes. that is the plan. where are my shoes? are they not here? did i leave them at the faery ring? IN the faery ring? maybe that is trouble i guess we'll find out... i wonder if they really mean no shoes no service? i could borrow my roommates! should i ask her? or should i just borrow them and then find her and ask her or is that tacky? the tile is like, rearranging itself, like tetris. that paper isn't due TOMORROW, right? i don't think so. but i SHOULD do that chapter reading. maybe i should just walk to the vending machine. ok wow!!! i totally forgot i was wearing this!!! it looks so weird! I look so weird! do i ALWAYS look like that? or reversed? what way is right, i don't remember. captain's wafers? no. maybe those orange crackers with peanut butter that seem like they would be cheesy but are just orange. yes. that and something unnaturally green or blue with a lot of caffeine. ok i can do this. i am ready for college. it is awesome already and i am sure it is going to get even awesomer from here. hooray <333

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