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  • The Lost Boys

    The Lost Boys

    ★★★★★

    best movie i’ve ever seen. it has everything: love, laughter, friendship, vampires, rampant homoeroticism

  • The Strangers: Prey at Night

    The Strangers: Prey at Night

    ★★★★★

    car headlights muffled by long dunes of fog / synths shuddering under queasily braided strings / languid zooms and slow glidings through empty pockets of darkness / screaming and crying for your mom and dad in a trailer park as abandoned and scraped-out as you are / i don’t know what to do, i’m always in the dark / they don’t care and they’re going to kill us all / replace it follows in the canon with this

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  • Batman & Robin

    Batman & Robin

    ★★★½

    3.5 stars is an arbitrary rating bc how do you apply a qualitative system to a movie that prioritizes and celebrates the beauty and formal brutality of quantity. every frame looks like a kind of mass-produced candy.  this is part two of joel schumacher's two film series about the inherent meaninglessness of heterosexuality, so every surface is gay—the muscles and nipples sculpted perfectly into the batman and robin costumes and into the enormous statues that flow between buildings in a…

  • Batman Forever

    Batman Forever

    ★★★★

    the second animated batman movie, after mask of the phantasm. the first movie in joel schumacher's two-film series about the meaninglessness of heterosexuality. gay arthouse cinema with an unlimited budget. the infinite jest of batman movies, as the riddler invents a cable box that is essentially "the entertainment." a totally geographically jagged and incoherent gotham city where every structure glows green, is bordered by a body of water, and is attended by statues with dense granite abs. nicole kidman is…