Her ★★★★★

I think what makes me relate to this movie so much is that I feel almost exactly like Theodore. I have acquaintances that I talk to when I can, and even a close friend or two, but I don't really feel like I have a home outside of my actual home. Once I get back to my home, I am pure. I am complete and everything feels whole again. Outside of my house, there lies a vast world, one that I love to explore as much as I can, but it’s almost like it whispers words in my ear 24/7 that I can’t decipher. Metaphorically, I don’t speak the same language as my peers, frequently lost in the cinema world instead of the real one.

I love my family more than anything. They don’t “get” me all the time, but they’re not supposed to. All in all, they’re some of the only people I feel complete around. But friendships are a whole different story. I’m perfectly secure with my self-esteem, way more than a lot of other kids my age are. I talk pretty consistently, both in class and out of it. I’m introverted, but I don’t hold back or fail to let people in occasionally. All of the things I described in that last paragraph are simply a result of my dissatisfaction with how others treat me.

Over the course of my time on Letterboxd, I’ve come to get to know people just like me. People who aren’t necessarily insecure but feel detached from the world around them and accept cinema as an escape from the harsh cruelties of said world. I feel lost in reality, drowning in it, and yet here I feel a sense of purpose, like I belong. Maybe in the real world I’m Theodore, completely hopeless outside of home, but here on Letterboxd I’m Samantha, feeling like I’ve found a place of belonging with others like me. 

I don’t feel worthless in the real world but validation is something I’d love to feel every once in a while. The people on Letterboxd who I’ve met and befriended (especially those who I’ve connected with outside of LB, on Twitter and Instagram and such) give me a sense of hope that the world isn’t the end of the cliff. Everybody deserves happiness, and when someone reaches out to you, even when you may not want to respond, just think about how lost they may feel too.

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