• Monsieur Spade

    Monsieur Spade

    ★★★

    I have been eagerly awaiting the death of the astroturfed “culturally relevant”-baiting garbage on TV like Succession (which anyone with two brain cells to rub together knows just stole from objectively better stuff like Deadwood and Six Feet Under anyway) so a concept as clean and direct as Clive Owen doing Humphrey Bogart in the ‘60s French countryside (with all of the actors actually speaking the native language of the setting instead of English like everyone in that terrible Chernobyl…

  • The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

    The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

    ★★★★★

    Best film I’ve seen in ages, can’t wait to rewatch without a theater chock-full of nerds obnoxiously guffawing every 30 seconds—all while Roger and James Deakins were literally in the audience?? If you gave these cretins the choice between having some class and shooting themselves they would pick the gun. Music Box needs to start slipping sleeping pills into the concessions so the few hundred gremlins shamelessly watching every movie like they’re the live audience for a Seinfeld episode can be knocked tf out early enough lmao. Gorgeous print and pleasant Q&A though

  • Poor Things

    Poor Things

    ★★★

    Production design, costumes, hair/makeup/prosthetics, score, and most of the performances are marvelous, but after the first hour or so the narrative sags a bit—and while it eventually picks back up, it’s clear by that point that the movie isn’t really interested in doing anything truly challenging or unique with its ideas and themes, just rinsing and repeating them within different segments of the story. Even in its weakest moments though this is such a delightfully weird and very funny film…

  • Ratatouille

    Ratatouille

    ★★★★★

    Been sick for two straight weeks and this is always a good comfort watch—far and away the best Pixar movie, I am sad to be part of the last generation of kids that had actually incredible original animated movies from studios like Pixar releasing consistently instead of the creatively bankrupt, derivative slop they've all been putting out for over a decade

  • Trainspotting

    Trainspotting

    ★★★★★

    OH YOU’VE GOT GREEN EYES, OH YOU’VE GOT BLUE EYES

    Everything about this film is so fucking perfect it just goes beyond words for me at this point. Also the new Criterion 4K rules (watched with subtitles on and laughed at the candidness of “[explosive shit]” during the toilet scene) and the soundtrack is still undefeated—“Born Slippy (Nuxx)” has been one of my favorite songs since I was a little kid and the usage here is probably my favorite needle drop ever

  • The Apartment

    The Apartment

    ★★★★★

    “The mirror—it’s broken.”
    “Yes, I know. I like it that way. Makes me look the way I feel.”

    Ending 2023 just as bitter/hateful as I ended 2022 and with the exact same film to briefly curb my cynicism ❤️ here’s to another year of it

  • Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

    Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

    ★★★★

    This movie still rocks and Clémence Poséy is a total dime

  • Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

    Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

    ★★★★★

    Best blockbuster franchise film of the 2000s (and frankly one of the best films of the 21st century in general)—I can’t think of a single one to be released since that has matched its amalgamation of atmosphere, energy, gorgeous visuals, and boundless creativity/weirdness. Fucking perfect and we’ll never get anything like it again

  • Batman Returns

    Batman Returns

    ★★★★★

    The saddest Christmas movie and my pick for unconventional favorite that isn’t Mr. Robot Season 4

  • A Very Sunny Christmas

    A Very Sunny Christmas

    ★★★★★

    A holiday classic (and a holy grail of my TV Blu-Ray shelf). Rewatching this masterpiece just made me sad that IASIP hasn’t been consistently good since 2017

  • Gen V - Prime Premiere

    Gen V - Prime Premiere

    Placeholder for the show. Not unlike The Boys it knows exactly what it is—pure cartoonishly violent, vulgar entertainment—and doesn’t try to be anything more, which automatically gives it an edge above the overabundance of tryhard dreck on TV these days (certainly better than those laughably overrated last two seasons of Succession lol)

  • Scrooged

    Scrooged

    ★★★★

    Best film adaptation of A Christmas Carol, anyone who says otherwise is wrong