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  • Häxan

    Häxan

    ★★★★★

    Watching this silent-film (my first silent-film, too) made me feel as though I was sitting in the middle of an old school house as this was playing from a dusty, old projector. I could almost hear the faint reeling of the projector in the back of my mind. 

    As I write this now, I barely know what to say about it. Not because I didn’t like it, but because I’d never witnessed something like it before. It was haunting yet…

  • They Live

    They Live

    ★★★★½

    The beginning of the movie is rather slow and uninteresting, but that’s my only complaint. The second the main character John puts on those shades, the audience is submerged in a world of grey, where no man has authority over himself or anyone else. Everyone goes throughout their days like mindless drones, too ignorant to challenge the system that holds power over them. And who is in control? A mysterious race of skull-faced aliens who can only be spotted with…

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  • Pokémon: The First Movie - Mewtwo Strikes Back

    Pokémon: The First Movie - Mewtwo Strikes Back

    ★★

    >claims Pokémon battles are cruel 
    >proceeds to battle for 21 more years 

    Well, that was pointless.

  • The Rugrats Movie

    The Rugrats Movie

    Please remove your nostalgia goggles and see this film for what it really is—trash. Sure there are some meme-worthy frames, but this was hard to sit through. At least the reporter, Rex Pester, was a gem of a character. 

    The animation itself was fluid at times, beautifully so, but it’s not enough to make me enjoy this at all. It just didn’t make any sense, especially since Dill couldn’t talk like the other babies. How does that even work?

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  • The Cat in the Hat

    The Cat in the Hat

    ★★★★★

    I remember bringing a VHS tape of this to kindergarten and being told it wasn't "school appropriate." I cried.

  • Christmas with the Kranks

    Christmas with the Kranks

    ★★

    Where are the jokes? This must be targeted at an extremely specific and narrow audience. Maybe if you have a bunch of psychotic neighbors who are obsessed with your routine Christmas antics, this might make you laugh! If not, you’re in for a very stale film. It’s about as stale as your aunt’s infamous fruitcake from a few years back. 

    Maybe if they added a laugh track it could trick you into thinking it was actually funny. It worked with The Big Bang Theory!