Favorite films

  • Exotica
  • Lake Michigan Monster
  • The Train
  • Voyage of Time: Life's Journey

Recent activity

  • The Last Emperor


  • 1900


  • Downhill


  • The Conformist


Pinned reviews

  • Gemini Man

    Gemini Man

    Now, this is a movie all about how
    Will Smith got cloned by a man of renown.
    And I'd like to take a minute, just sit with me,
    I'll tell you how he became de-aged in a film by Ang Lee.

    In west of some laboratory, born and raised,
    In a test tube was where he spent most of his days.
    Chillin' out, maxin', assassinatin' a fool,
    And all shootin' some people to graduate from school,
    When a couple of…

  • Frozen II

    Frozen II


    The screen glows white in the theatre tonight
    Not a cellphone to be seen
    A film devoid of imagination
    And it needs to be in quarantine

    My face is scowling like a raging storm inside
    Couldn't make it good, heaven knows they tried

    Don't let them in, don't let them see
    Be the good film Frozen I was to me
    Raw deal, this reel, don't let them know
    Well, now they know

    Don't you go, don't you go
    Can't say…

Recent reviews

  • The Last Emperor

    The Last Emperor


    "You will always be the emperor… of the Forbidden City."

    Similar to 1900, I think Bernardo Bertolucci's The Last Emperor is a spectacle of filmmaking everyone ought to watch some day. That doesn't make it flawless, but as a largely accurate historical drama there's still so much to admire about this critical hit that swept the Oscars a few decades ago.

    That leader, Puyi, was raised to his position as just a toddler (Richard Vuu). We watch him grow as…

  • 1900



    "The strike is on!"

    An absurdly audacious 5 hours and 20 minutes, the proudly Marxist historical drama from Bernardo Bertolucci Novecento ["1900"] does deserve to be seen despite its flaws and insane runtime. Surely, I've watched longer movies, some of which done with the same ambition and epic scale of this one, War and Peace and Gettysburg among them, but 1900 is a far more complex and politically dense.

    Recounting the plot is an impossible task for a reasonable length.…

Popular reviews

  • Monty Python and the Holy Grail

    Monty Python and the Holy Grail


    🎉"Old woman!"
    "Sorry. Old man! Who lives in that castle?"
    "I'm 37!"
    "I'm 37, I'm not old!"
    "Well, I can't just call you 'man'."
    "Well, you could say 'Dennis'."
    "I didn't know you were called Dennis."
    "Well you never bothered to find out, did you?"

    I've been waiting my whole life to use that quote on my birthday! I'm 37, I'm not old! But my name still isn't Dennis.

    Part of Terry Gilliam ranked.
    Part of Terry Jones ranked.
    Part of My Subjective List of the Best Narrative Films.

  • Apocalypto



    ”Our lands were ravaged. We seek a new beginning.”

    I dunno, maybe Mel Gibson just wanted to find a way to kill a bunch of brown-skinned people on screen. Did you ever think about that?

    Mel Gibson’s allegorical and violent adventure film Apocalypto has some visual splendor, tremendous performances by young and dynamic indigenous actors, and some worthwhile attempts to portray a society with rich history. Through a hero's journey, a tribe of Maya in the Yucatan is thrown into…