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  • The Work

    The Work


    "Why can't we be enough to hang onto?"

    (Quick aside: If you've been in prison, you're already well aware of "social distancing." Yeah, it's called "lockdown." Although it's kinda hard to stay six feet away from your cellie when the cell is 6x12. Things that make you go "hmmmm.")

    Like a lot of things about jail, your first group therapy session stays with you. I can't speak for everyone who's ever been locked up, but I vividly remember that first…

  • O.J.: Made in America

    O.J.: Made in America


    "And he said, 'No! Don't you understand? She knew that I wasn't black; she saw me as O.J.' And really, at that moment, I thought he was fucked."

    And to think, my Philadelphia Eagles probably should have drafted him.

    Hindsight is 20/20, but the 1968 season of the Eagles was shaping up to be one of the worst of all time. After twelve games in a fourteen-game season, Philly was 0-12, en route to the first overall pick in the…

Recent reviews

  • Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

    Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade


    "He chose … poorly."

    But I chose wisely to watch this trilogy today. How fun!

    If you asked me years ago, I would have told you that The Last Crusade was my favorite Indiana Jones film. Maybe it still kinda is? Can a film be a favorite despite a lower rating than another? Discuss.

    Well, that superior movie -- Raiders of the Lost Ark -- remains superior but goddamn this one is the one I truly grew up on. I…

  • Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

    Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom


    "Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory."

    The least of the Indiana Jones trilogy is still a great film.

    I know some see it as far far weaker than the others, and I won't argue too much that it feels like a bizarre entry and odd duck compared to the first and last.

    Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is darker, scarier, and somehow goofier, with the universally disliked character of the female love interest. Despite that, it's still…

Popular reviews

  • Frozen II

    Frozen II


    The screen glows white in the theatre tonight
    Not a cellphone to be seen
    A film devoid of imagination
    And it needs to be in quarantine

    My face is scowling like a raging storm inside
    Couldn't make it good, heaven knows they tried

    Don't let them in, don't let them see
    Be the good film Frozen I was to me
    Raw deal, this reel, don't let them know
    Well, now they know

    Don't you go, don't you go
    Can't say…

  • Gemini Man

    Gemini Man

    Now, this is a movie all about how
    Will Smith got cloned by a man of renown.
    And I'd like to take a minute, just sit with me,
    I'll tell you how he became de-aged in a film by Ang Lee.

    In west of some laboratory, born and raised,
    In a test tube was where he spent most of his days.
    Chillin' out, maxin', assassinatin' a fool,
    And all shootin' some people to graduate from school,
    When a couple of…