Before Midnight

Before Midnight ★★★½

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

honestly i don't even know if i should be writing this review in this frame of mind, but this movie left me in such a frustrated and angered state, really. i don't recommend reading this review if you haven't seen the first two movies in this trilogy, and i will mark as containing spoilers because i want to discuss my feelings openly.

i feel like the more we go on with this series, the more the magic is taken out of it, and taken away from the first one. the more the magic is lost. and that's devastating to me. the first movie of this trilogy is literally unbelievably incredible. the second one was marginally less so, imo, but still i could see sparks of the old flame. this third one for me was.... i don't even know. an altered state of being that i wish i'd never seen. i almost wish i had never watched the last two because i feel like i'll never be able to watch the first one the same again. yes, maybe these are true to life and as you get older love evolves (or devolves?) and changes and fractures into other things, but i don't want to see that with jesse and celine. i don't want to see real life and how it can hurt you and weather you and mess you up. i don't want to see real life mess up such a good thing. and that's what i feel like the third one is all about. how messed up everything is. i wanted to see them happy, in love and all that jazz.

do i see merits with this one? yes. but to what end do you sacrifice what you wanted to see, how you wanted things to be, for what is portrayed? for what is? i don't know. i wonder if this is how love really is, or how life really is.. it's magical and then it dies and reinvents itself into something less. something altered? i was so upset watching this. when they're fighting it's insufferable, and most of the movie is that feeling. my mom experienced it in a totally different way, though. so maybe it's about age? or the presence of idealism versus the acceptance of realism? maybe i'm romanticizing it too much and that this is what life will look like when i'm middle aged, but i don't want it to be like that and i don't want to see jesse and celine's love played as tarnished or irreverent just for the sake of portrayal of realism. aren't movies meant, in the grand scheme of it all, for escapism? i can't be the only one disappointed by how this love story is being told at this point in the series. i don't know. maybe something's wrong with me or maybe i want to see life through my rose-colored glasses, but i do see the world with the potential of being magical, not with the acceptance that everything falls shorter than we wanted it to. maybe that's the difference between me and the world. but i'm okay with that. i wish this had all stayed how it was in the first one. idk. maybe if i rewatch two and three in this trilogy i'll see it with fresh eyes or a new perspective or something. but for right now i'm just extremely dissatisfied and i feel like something precious has died. or something. that's dramatic, but it's also true, and no amount of self-awareness or self-reflection is going to change the fact that this didn't give me what i wanted and i feel robbed of something. this took away what the first movie gave me, in a way. it tainted it. i hope i can still watch the first one without thinking about what they become. and i'm aware that this is probably a really unpopular opinion and that everyone might be mad at me.. but i can't help how i feel.

(part of my priority watchlist of 2019)

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