• Ri¢hie Ri¢h

    Ri¢hie Ri¢h

    ★★★½

    Richie Rich may appear as a silly kids movie based on a simple comic book, but it is in fact a peek into an alternate universe in which Donald Trump’s father actually loved him.

  • Aliens

    Aliens

    ★★★★½

    A summary of Aliens:

    Dumb space marines get terrorized by an evil queen space penis. But don’t worry folks! Ripley’s fork-lift certified!

  • Boogie Nights

    Boogie Nights

    ★★★★

    There’s no way that was Marky Mark’s real dick.

  • The King of Comedy

    The King of Comedy

    ★★★★½

    Alright, Joker DID take some serious "inspiration" from this, but I don't see much wrong with that.

    The way I see it, The King of Comedy is Joker stripped down to its absolute essentials. When you compare the two, this feels remarkably restrained, especially for a Scorsese joint. So if you want something loud and bombastic, watch Joker, but if you're looking for something more grounded and subtle, try this.

    What are stories anyway except 'the same but different'?

  • Austin Powers in Goldmember

    Austin Powers in Goldmember

    ★★★½

    It’s funny, the cast of the Lion King remake didn’t get to meet Beyonce till the premiere, and yet the OG Timon got to sit back to back with her.

  • Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

    Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

    ★★★½

    Even Dr. Evil believes in vaccines.

  • The Last Thing He Wanted

    The Last Thing He Wanted

    ½

    Pro Tip: If the only memorable scene in the movie is the part where the dog explodes, it’s probably not a good movie.

  • Homeward

    Homeward

    ½

    This was literally animated by two people.

  • The Diary of a Teenage Girl

    The Diary of a Teenage Girl

    ★★★★½

    Drink every time you say "Ohh, honey..."

  • Thomas and the Magic Railroad

    Thomas and the Magic Railroad

    ★½

    I think Alec Baldwin's had a bit too much "gold dust".

  • Spaceballs

    Spaceballs

    ★★★★

    Still more satisfying than The Rise of Skywalker.

  • Rubber

    Rubber

    ★★★★

    I never get tired of this.