Favorite films

Recent reviews

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  All Quiet on the Western Front 2022

  ★★ Watched 25 Feb 2023

  This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

  In retrospect, I'm actually pretty glad I decided to watch the original 1930 adaptation before this one, as it really helped to highlight all the ways in which this completely misses the point of the story. Admittedly, I haven't read the novel, so I'm having to go by that prior adaptation, but comparatively, this is unbelievably vapid and dull.

  I'm not sure what the goal is here, but it certainly feels like somebody got terribly carried away on aesthetics over…

• 

  The Outwaters 2022

  ★ Watched 22 Feb 2023

  This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

  I could say the trailer intrigued me, but quite frankly the warning signs were there - blood, darkness, screaming, and nothing else. Naively, I had believed they were simply holding back the goods and that the film itself would be... something? "Substantive" would be nice, but "not completely hollow and dull" would at least be acceptable. I wish I knew better how to articulate exactly why the leisurely pace of a found footage movie like Blair Witch Project or Gonjiam…

Popular reviews

• 

  Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace 1999

  ½ Added

  This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

  I've been watching each "Star Wars" movie for what is basically the first time, and I'm absolutely over the moon that I finished the original trilogy and now get to watch the prequels which, if this is anything to go by, are absolutely stellar.

  Explaining why this movie is so bad it would be news to precisely 0 people. The acting is absolutely terrible across the board (which, with talented actors like this, indicates more of a problem with the…

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  Nukie 1988

  ★★★★★ Watched 02 Jan 2023

  Starting off the New Year with a bang. Every one of the ~30,000 times they cut to sickly Miko on the Roswell table saying "Nuuuukieeeee Nuuukieeee help me Nuuuukieeee" I laughed uncontrollably.