Favorite films

  • Porco Rosso
  • The Lighthouse
  • Snowpiercer
  • Harold and Maude

Recent activity

All
  • Moonfall

    ½

  • Three Thousand Years of Longing

    ★★★

  • The Tender Bar

    ★★★★

  • The Rock

    ★★

Recent reviews

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  • Moonfall

    Moonfall

    ½

    If the moon falls into earth and Elon Musk is the only one around to hear it, is he still a massive tool?

  • The Rock

    The Rock

    ★★

    This movie is unreal. Sean Connery grabs the plot by its prostate and takes you for a thrill-ride through the seemingly endless tunnels of Alcatraz. At times it’s straight up propaganda for the US military and other times its just Nick Cage screaming. There is precisely one woman in this movie who’s only character trait is wanting to be married to Nic Cage.

  • Die Hard: With a Vengeance

    Die Hard: With a Vengeance

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    This movie has everything you need from a Die Hard movie (or really any movie): a subway explosion, Simon Peter Gruber attempting to avenge the death of his brother, Hans Gruber, Samuel L. Jackson yelling, a boat explosion, comically large bombs made out of tanks of kool-aid, an East German militia armed with mullets, a helicopter explosion, and a heist of billions of dollars of gold bullion from the federal reserve. In keeping with the spirit of Die Hard, Bruce…

  • Black Widow

    Black Widow

    ★★★

    Florence Pugh is cooler than Jason Bourne