This is mediocrity in every sense of the word. The plot is done to death, the stakes are nonexistant, Peter has everything handed to him and has become Mary Sue Iron Man, and the pacing was abysmal. I've been avoiding seeing this and boy I would have been ticked if I had spent the money to see this in theater. Talk about phoning it in, this is the worst MCU film. No, it's not the worst Marvel film, but it's the worst film in the designated MCU without a question.

If you know anything about the comics at all, the twist isn't a twist and you're just waiting for it to finally happen. I don't know what imbecile decided to put this an hour in, rather than near the beginning like with 2012's The Avengers, but it is mind-numbing to have to watch that hour. Nothing happens. Nothing. This whole film banks on you laughing at the jokes, enjoying the shipping, and liking the CGI. Yes I understand that is the draw for a lot of popular anime, but it's also really clear that anime translates poorly to live action for that reason. There is just no investment at all.

Ned's relationship made him an annoying character, though I actually really loved his trip GF and wish we could keep her and have less of him around. Zendaya looks legitimately crushing on Tom Holland the whole movie, and that admittedly is really adorable, even though I think she is a terrible pick for the MJ character (also, is she planning on becoming an actress orrrr......????)

The jokes never land more than a couple of chuckles and the action is absolute garbage. Oh, also PP's first suit in the movie looks absolutely terrible. I don't know who did the CGI for that, but they should be fired. It will take a lot to get me to watch this again because I get nothing out of it. No Way Home better be freaking amazing for making me go through this for context.