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  • The Fall of the House of Usher

    ★★★½

  • Saltburn

    ★★½

  • Home Alone 3

    ★★★½

  • Maestro

    ★★½

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  • Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves

    Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves

    ★★★★

    four quick things:

    1). Mila Kunis is in this. 

    2). the only reason i know that bananas have potassium in them is because of this movie.

    3). Dean Cundey directed this? this is his only directorial credit? what?

    4). this movie offers an incredible scene of a teenage girl berating a boy about the importance of consent after he takes advantage of her that honestly feels like a moment in a movie that would come out today and it’s insane and amazing that it’s actually in this 22-year-old direct to video threequel.

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  • The Fall of the House of Usher

    The Fall of the House of Usher

    ★★★½

    A romp! Fun!

  • Saltburn

    Saltburn

    ★★½

    Unquestionably half-baked, which is why I'm baffled by the severe reactions to this on both ends of the spectrum considering just how milquetoast this thing is.

    Most of the time I thought it was pretty fine and watchable, until its last 20 minutes when it becomes eye-rollingly stupid. But honestly, I really just wanted the movie to be weirder. The movie's high points are the moments with the tub, the blood, and the dirt. Everything else is, again, just fine.…

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  • The Holiday

    The Holiday

    ★★★½

    my aesthetic: Jack Black talking about film scores to flirt with Kate Winslet in a Blockbuster circa 2006.

  • Knock Knock

    Knock Knock

    ★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Worth your time just so you can hear Keanu scream at the top of his lungs, "YOU SUCKED MY COCK!!" A moment sure to be included on "Best of Keanu Reeves Acting" reels from now on.