Eternals ½

SHAZAM! - DC makes a good Marvel film.

ETERNALS - Marvel makes a bad DC film.

Honestly one of the most boring movies I’ve ever seen in my life. Any professional critic giving this above a 5 is getting Jeff Gerstman style pressure from their publication heads in order to continue a good relationship with Disney (everyone else is simply a simp). We have finally hit the apex of mind-numbingly bad decisions when hiring directors. These films should be exclusively handled by genre folk like Raimi, Coogler, or Bigelow, not Malick ripoff types who can’t light a scene to save her life.

William liked these reviews