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  • Aladdin

    Aladdin

    ★★

    i haven't seen the original so I can't really compare the two, but wow this was not it. will smith's charm carries the film and I was never bored but never dazzled or wowed either. the film doesn't bring anything new to the table, and whilst it's fun, it's void of any real depth and leaves you wanting so much more.

    all the songs sound flat and even the big ones don't have the emotional resonance that I think the filmmakers expected them too, some of the editing is plain awful. get me off this Disney train please.

  • Pokémon Detective Pikachu

    Pokémon Detective Pikachu

    ★★

    unfortunately I don't know enough (or anything at all) about pokemon to truly enjoy this, but all the visual stuff was really well done

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  • Shrek 2

    Shrek 2

    ★★★★★

    Thirteen years in the future.

    Walking in the rain to my one bedroom apartment, i just had a terrible meeting with my parole officer and I'm fucking late, my ex wife is just about to drop off the twins Warren II and Sebastion off for their weekend visit.  I just make it, and after saying bye to her and her new husband who's a privileged twat, I make the kids some boiled eggs before putting on a movie, leaving them to watch whilst I have a nap. This is the movie.

  • Bohemian Rhapsody

    Bohemian Rhapsody

    There's a bit early on in the film where the band passionately talk about how they want to break the formula, because formulas are stale and boring. Clearly the filmmakers did not agree. Biopics are generally interesting, but to make one about such an icon so dull is beyond me. This was as generic and anemic as they come.

    The depiction of gay characters in this is horrific. They're seen as these cartoon villians who stray a "shamed tortured genius"…