Favorite films

Pinned reviews

• 

  The Whale 2022

  ★★★½ Watched 17 Jan 2023

  “I don’t think I believe anyone can save anyone.”
  
  I want to think about my life.

  I also want a handle of Captain Morgan and a Big Mac bundle right now. 

  We’ll see which I wins!

• 

  District 9 2009

  Rewatched 27 Nov 2022 2

  Ofc I’ve gotta wonder what prawn peen is like.

Recent reviews

• 

  The Pyramid 2014

  ★★★ Watched 05 Dec 2023

  “Someone will find my tapes.”
  
  ANUBIS, THE DEVOURER (?!), IS TAKING HEARTS AND WEIGHING SOULS!

  “Jesus! Stop being an archeologist for a minute here and start being a human being!”

  ANGY EGYPTIAN CAT-DOG-MAN LOVES TO SMASH!

  FUCKING CGI CAT DEMONS START EATING A WOMAN ALIVE AFTER SHE’S FALLEN INTO A SPIKE TRAP AND FUCKING IMPALED!

  OH YEAH! WE’RE ALL INFECTED, ANYWAY!

  “It’s not about the shot Nora. I just don’t know what else to do.”

• 

  A Haunting in Venice 2023

  ★★★★ Watched 04 Dec 2023

  “It’s All Hallows’ Eve. The dead are as close as they can be. You were dead, too, sir. Even if only for a moment. They see you as one of their own.”

  I 👏🏼 ATE 👏🏼 THIS 👏🏼 SHIT 👏🏼 UP 👏🏼

  SPOOKY, SINGING CHILDREN ONLY YOU CAN HEAR!

  THE WATER’S STILL RUNNING BUT YOU TURNED OFF THE TAPS!!

  AND WHO TF KEEPS THROWING THESE TEA CUPS AROUND SO FUCKING PRECARIOUSLY?!

Popular reviews

• 

  Barbie 2023

  ★★★ Watched 30 Nov 2023

  “‘Cause I’m just Ken, anywhere else I’d be a ten!”
  
  Fuck, I’m a Ken. 😂

  Real life Barbie and Ken, Robbie and Gosling, been here all along and I didn’t even know it.  They’re both kinda really beautiful here, in their performances and otherwise ofc.

  THIS HAD SOME FUCKING HARDCORE ELEVATED DISNEY CHANNEL MOVIE VIBES

  Clearly I am the audience for this ??? But I think I’m also very much not the audience for this hahaha

  ALSO FUCK YOU. MATCHBOX TWENTY FUCKING ROCKS!

• 

  He Loves Me… He Loves Me Not 2002

  ★★★½ Watched 17 Jun 2021

  L is for leave him TF ALONE.