• To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

    To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

    ★★★½

    A surprisingly sweet and fun movie. Also, Wesley Snipes did this movie only a few years before he starred as Blade.

    Deny his talent, I dare you.


    Swayze is also fucking awesome.

  • Unauthorized: The Harvey Weinstein Project

    Unauthorized: The Harvey Weinstein Project

    ★★★

    Before Untouchable (2019), there was Unauthorized. Decent doc considering it’s limitations and kudos to the guy for trying to take on Harvey back when he had real power and any access to him or his people would be really difficult.

  • Dolls

    Dolls

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    A much better killer doll film than Puppet Master

    Despite being produced by the Bands and having similar pitfalls as Master (I.e. as Roger Ebert said “it’s all premise and no real payoff”—not a direct quote—as well as corny effects and music, and some goofy acting and no real scares) it has something about it that’s much more charming.

    For one, it has a Tales from the Crypt/Twilight Zone vibe to it, wherein the villains provide a moral lesson. The…

  • Puppet Master

    Puppet Master

    ★★½

    I’d never seen Puppet Master, or any of the sequels, though I was aware it was an enduringly popular cult B-horror favorite. So I gave it a watch.

    There’s a lot it has going for it in terms of concepts: the idea of psychic detectives being the main characters could’ve worked, the score is decent (mostly the main theme), and the puppet designs are pretty iconic and cool. 

    But the film has almost no plot, the story isn’t really explained…

  • Man Bites Dog

    Man Bites Dog

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Man Bites Dog is for people who thought American Psycho and Happiness were a little too lighthearted for black comedies.

    The film is—despite its reputation and highly grisly and disgusting content—incredibly watchable, mostly due to Benoît Poelvoorde’s immense charisma and natural wit, which makes the film more disturbing. Ben (as he is named in the film) is strangely charming and likable even after the first moments make it clear he is an unrepentant psychopath lacking in any morals or boundaries.…

  • Alleluia! The Devil's Carnival

    Alleluia! The Devil's Carnival

    ★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    David Hasselhoff plays a flamboyant Kabuki-man fashion designer who has a sweatshop in Heaven. 


    Basically, I had to check this one out after revisiting The Devil’s Carnival. I actually found on a second watch, while I can’t objectively call The Devil’s Carnival a good “movie” (because neither of these are really “movies,” more like episodes in a TV series), I found it had more charm than I’d remembered despite its obvious budgetary limitations.

    Alleluia! has far more ambitions than even…

  • Session 9

    Session 9

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Such an underrated horror gem. Rewatching it made me appreciate it so much more.

    Viewers may see the twist coming, but the film does a terrific job trying to set up various alternate red herrings to keep viewers on their toes. 

    Despite having that early 00’s digital look to the cinematography—it is clearly a low-budget film—the great, slow-creeping and eerie story, great acting (particularly by Peter Mullan and Josh Lucas), and foreboding location (the film was shot at an actual…

  • The Devil's Carnival

    The Devil's Carnival

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Original take—December 2014:
    I was a really big fan of Repo! The Genetic Opera and still consider it a cult favorite of mine despite its rougher edges.

    The Devil’s Carnival is much more of a mixed bag. I need to check out the sequel to see how it’s progressed, but I will say this— if Repo! wasn’t your thing, this definitely won’t be either.

    The songs are a lot more hit-or-miss for me than in its predecessor. “Trust Me,” “Grace…

  • Training Day

    Training Day

    ★★★★

    A terrific exercise in slow-burning anxiety and tension. Ethan Hawke is really likable and human and believable in this film, and the way he portrays Jake’s constant interior battle between what he knows is right and being seduced by Alonzo’s charming yet sinister attempts at corrupting him—it’s just super naturalistic.

    Speaking of Alonzo, I can see why Denzel got his Oscar—though I think he and Hawke should’ve been switched in their categories, as Alonzo is more of a supporting character.…

  • Batman: Mask of the Phantasm

    Batman: Mask of the Phantasm

    ★★★½

    We’ve gotta pump the brakes on the hype train, people.

    I like this movie. I like it a lot. 

    But there’s been a strange shift lately where this movie has gone from genuinely underrated to quite overrated in certain circles—probably due to Doug Walker and Patrick H. Willems’s video essays on it, but I don’t hold them personally accountable.

    Obviously, most mainstream viewers are still mostly unaware of this film’s existence, but it has gained a massive cult following in…

  • Sinister

    Sinister

    ★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    The music... the fucking music. So on point.

    I wish the film didn’t need jump scares to sell to 2012 audiences, but it still remains one of the creepier movies I’ve seen.

    Super 8 is an eerie format and the choice to do the snuff films on that format, with its bizarre, ethereal aesthetics, really is what makes this film so effective. 

    Ethan Hawke is also great, honestly. James Ransone, Vincent D’Onofrio, Juliet Rylance and Fred Thompson also turn in strong supporting performances, even if the characters aren’t the strongest or most memorable.

  • The Disaster Artist

    The Disaster Artist

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Good film. I enjoyed Dave Franco and James Franck’s performances quite a bit. James Franco got some big laughs out of me with his pretty damn good Wiseau impression, while attempting to humanize him. He is still a bit too charming and handsome to be the real Tommy but it works.

    Also: my biggest pet peeve is literally having characters’ commentary essentially explain the joke of The Room. “The breast cancer never comes back?” “Is he fucking her belly button?”…