Favorite films

  • The Long Goodbye
  • Sunset Boulevard
  • The Red Shoes
  • Come and See

Recent activity

  • Darkman


  • Unforgiven


  • High Plains Drifter


  • The Lair of the White Worm


Recent reviews

  • Red Eye

    Red Eye


    Everything I want from a pulpy thriller. This KILLED in a packed theater. Pacing and setup are so masterful that it feels there’s not a wasted moment in the whole film.  

    Feels a little weird that I have never found Cillian more attractive than when he’s terrorizing and intimidating this poor woman.

  • Gigli


    Weirdly looks very beautiful at times because it was shot by motherfucking Robert Elswit of all people!

    Not exactly the fun type of bad I hoped, instead just terrible and deeply offensive. Most of Gigli is a zero-energy drag but there’s a few moments that had me howling. Pacino and Walken’s scenes are so funny that it’s almost worth it just to see how much fun they’re able to get out of a such a boring, truly lousy script.

Popular reviews

  • Waiting for Guffman

    Waiting for Guffman


    10. Corky listening to mariachi music while taking a depression bath
    9. “I hate your ASSFACE!”
    8. Alien abduction monologue 
    7. “I’m going home and I’m gonna...I’m gonna bite my pillow is what I’m gonna do!”
    6. David Cross crop circle scene
    5. Remains of the Day lunchbox
    4. “No, I wasn’t the class clown. But I sat next to the class clown and I studied him.”
    3. The queen of Dairy Queen
    2. The hit showtune “Bubbe Made a Kishka”
    1. Penis reduction surgery

  • Twin Peaks: The Missing Pieces

    Twin Peaks: The Missing Pieces

    I don’t have a review. I just wanted to tell the story about the first time I watched Fire Walk With Me. It was a letdown. Even by Lynch standards, FWWM was disjointed and made no sense. 

    Then the credits rolled and I realized that I had been watching “Twin Peaks: The Missing Pieces” the entire time. I’d sat through 90 minutes of deleted scenes from Fire Walk With Me thinking it was the actual movie. 

    I’m a dumbass.