Sloppy appreciator.
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Vampires 1998
THIS MOVIE SUCKS! DEPT.
For generations, vampires have terrified and captivated audiences all over the world with their amoral appetites and seductive malignancy. If you're looking for more of that, though, you better go watch Dracula again, because this is ...
JOHN CRAP'N'SLUR'S SHAMPIRES
"I'm Jack Slow, f&!@king vampire hunter! I was hired by the Catholic Church to hunt and kill vampires, so it's only fitting that I swear like a f*&!king priest! Plus, it's cheaper than hiring screenwriters!"
"I'm…
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She-Devils on Wheels 1968
There once was a gang called the Man-Eaters /
They rode on one- and two-seaters /
It's easy to tell, they liked to raise hell /
and in cutting off heads they're the leaders
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Godzilla Minus One 2023
Ikiru
A shot across the bow to American blockbusters but one with a specifically Japanese historical context that pays big emotional dividends. If Shin Godzilla was kinda like a Soderberghian take on Kaiju this is the Spielberg version. Maybe the best visual effects in any CGI era monster movie but I think an even bigger impression is created by all those closeups of faces in simultaneous terror and awe of the monster. And I love the choice to retain so much of the original movie's score.
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Punch-Drunk Love 2002
When I was 17 or 18 I was eating lunch at this place called New York Subs (now closed) and I ordered my sandwich and sat down in front of this man (who I later learned was my parents' dentist, incidentally) who was by himself waiting on his food. When the waitress came by to bring him his order, I heard her ask him about the crossword puzzle he was doing. "Yeah, I find it's a lot easier to do…
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