Why does Chris Pine treat fireworks like some mysterious modern invention and not a 2000+ year old technology is he supposed to be some kind of caveman pilot?
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Marmaduke 2022
They made a movie uglier than Pete Davidson’s tattoos
Cannot think of a single redeemable quality here. Easily the worst looking animated feature film released by a major studio I can remember, it makes Cocomelon look like Pixar. Did they get halfway through the animation process and just stop? All the women are shaped like the mom from Dexter’s Laboratory. Pete Davidson sounds completely disinterested, like he recorded his lines in a single take while running late to a dinner. And it ends with the most low effort, embarrassingly bad rap song imaginable. This is a movie for parents who hate their kids.
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Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness 2022
All these movies are stupid but at least this one has the decency to also do fun horror-comedy. Between breathless exposition dumps, Sam Raimi sneaks in plenty of visual flare, as well as some gnarly kills that feel closer to The Boys than the MCU. The cameos may be unnecessary, adding length to a pretty listless 2nd act, but I smiled ear to ear when they unraveled **** ********* like a Polly-O string cheese. Truly astonishing what just a few visually compelling sequences can do to elevate this stuff!
Also, has my new favorite and least favorite post credits sequences in all of Marvel.
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The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent 2022
Pretty bold to make your movie a big ode to Nic Cage and fundamentally misunderstand what makes him interesting as an actor. Genuinely feel bad for Cage, whose idiosyncrasies are reduced down to “randomly yells really loud.” The thing that occasionally makes his performances funny is Nic Cage can operate at a different rhythm from the film he’s in or the other actors around him. His choices are incredibly hard to predict. He’ll take a quiet moment and make it…
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The French Dispatch 2021
Even for a cuckoo clock ass filmmaker this was a cuckoo clock ass movie. Borrow whatever adjectives you normally use to describe Wes Anderson’s work: pretty, pristine, picture-book - they all apply here. This was the first time watching one of his films where I felt that dedication to aesthetic exhaust me.
There are amusing moments and terrific performances throughout but none of it actually feels inhabited by human beings. It’s flatter than the pages in a magazine.
